Relationship blog

Relationship blog

måndag 27 maj 2013

We Are Getting Back Together: Contacting Your Ex

The biggest problem most people dealing with break ups face is trying to figure out why their ex won’t speak to them about what went wrong. Most people's first instinct is to call or send a text message to ask what happened or to try and plead with their ex to reconsider.

Each time you do contact your ex, you're subtly telling him that you're not capable of existing without him. While this might sound romantic and noble in a Hollywood film, in reality you're sending your ex a sure sign of your insecurity and high dependence.

Think back once again to when you first met. You would have been happy and fun to be around. You would have been quite happy to do things for yourself in your own life, deal with your own things and generally be independent.

Contacting Your Ex

Now consider all those desperate pleas to get back together, crying and swearing your undying love for your ex.

Your ex will be seeing someone completely different sitting there than the person he fell in love with, so the more you call or text or email, the less likely it is that he'll want to talk.

Stop contacting him at once.

Spend some time reconnecting to the person you used to be. Build up your own self-esteem once again and start going out with friends to take your mind off things. Such simple advice is almost never taken seriously by someone who is so desperately wanting to keep in contact with their ex, afraid that if they don’t speak to him, he might meet someone else.

Unfortunately, it's good advice. Give your ex some time to miss you. Give him a little space to make him understand what he's lost and what life is like when you're not around. You don't have to wait weeks and weeks. Just give him a little time to see what it's like being apart.

When you're feeling a little happier about who you are and what you really want, only then give him a call and suggest you meet for a friendly chat. Meet somewhere public and make sure it's relaxed. Have plenty of casual, light-hearted topics planned for conversation and avoid talking about the relationship. You want your ex to see that you're capable of taking responsibility for your own happiness and not completely dependent on him to provide it for you.

When he does see the original happy, bubbly person he fell in love with sitting there opposite him instead of the crying, upset, miserable person he didn't know how to help, he’ll begin to realize that he did miss you after all.
Ps. Consider this helpful guide to take the next step in getting your ex back in your life.
>The Magic Second Chance Letter<

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