4th Article In The Series On "Sparks Of Love"

This article is the 4th article in the series of articles on "Sparks of Love"

Physical Attractiveness

You look at your mate much more than you look at yourself. For that reason, you need to be fairly satisfied with the physical attractiveness of the person you are with. Dissatisfaction will undermine the entire relationship.

This is not to say that you have to date a model or a jock in order to be happy with your partner. But, you probably don't want to be physically revolted by them either.

You should know that people tend to find someone more attractive once they have fallen in love. So, you shouldn't put off a first date just because the person doesn't fit the ideal that you have imagined.

Sex

Sex helps you stay emotionally bonded with your partner. Usually, your partner is the person you most want to be emotionally intimate with and sex facilitates that process.

There are a number of factors which help to determine how satisfied you are in your sex life. These include being attracted to your partner, having an emotional bond, and resolving problems that occur outside of the bedroom.

But there is also the matter of how much skill and inhibition you have in the bedroom. Remember, while practice may not make perfect, it does make for a lot of fun.

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Investment in the Relationship

In many relationship, a woman is madly in love with a man and the man is only casually interested in the woman. This also happens the other way of course. If the partners have different investments in the relationship, it is doomed to failure.

Think about what you are putting into the relationship and what you are getting out of it. If the two don't balance, think about whether the investment is unequal. If it is, consider whether this is going to work out long term.

Power

What is the power balance in your relationship? Some conservative cultures give all of the power – including the sole right to divorce – to the man. In some relationships, one person has more power due to a stronger financial position. Other times, one partner just has a personality that overwhelms the other.

In the beginning stages of a relationship, power balances are quite fragile. But if a relationship is going to work, these issues need to even out over time.

Financial Attitudes

Are you a spender or a saver? Can you get along with someone with a different financial attitude than you have? One recent study showed that spenders tend to marry savers in order to moderate their behavior and savers marry spenders to liberate theirs. But, if your outlooks on finance are too different, there could be serious conflict within the relationship.

Remember that money is one of the most common – and crippling – problems in relationships. So, get a clear idea on how your partner feels about finance before you marry and then work out your money issues as you go along.

What Doesn't Matter

Just as there are things that really matter in relationships, there are also things that don't matter. These are common misconceptions and myths about what makes a relationship succeed.

Tomorrows article will be the 5th article in the series of articles on "Spark of Love".

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3rd Article in the Series On Sparks of Love

Sparks of love must continue in a relationship and one way to do that is to be sharing the same goals as your partner.

Shared Goals

There may be instant attraction across a crowded room, but a relationship can not exist on initial sizzle alone. Along the way, you have to develop some shared goals.

Both partners need to feel good about where they – and their relationship – is going.

For instance, if one person wants a long term commitment that leads to marriage and the other is looking for a casual arrangement, the relationship is not likely to last.

Similarly, if one partner wants children and the other is allergic to kids, there may be a serious fracture in the marriage.

In order for a relationship to work, there are many compromises that have to be made. But, there are some things for which there are no compromises available. For these kinds of goals, you must be in tandem if you want your relationship to go forward.

Timing

It may be that the person you marry is the person you are dating at the time in your life that you are ready to get married. Timing plays an important role in a successful relationship.

You may meet a really great guy or gal when you are 19 and things go along just great. But, at 19, you are focused on school and starting a career and aren't ready to settle down. By the time you are ready, you've moved to different cities and the bond has been broken.

Similarly, you may meet someone right after you have gone through a divorce. But, you are not in an emotional place to let someone new into your life. So, that will be a fish that got away.

Timing is an important component in the kind of men or women you develop strong relationships with.

Communication

You don't have to agree on everything to make your relationship work. But, you do have to have a way to discuss things and resolve differences. If you can handle this in a reasonable way, you can be happy despite your differences.

Consider developing strong relationship communication skills. For instance, employ the tactic of reflective listening. This means that you repeat back what the other person has said and ask if your interpretation is correct. You can also employ empathetic communication where you acknowledge the other person's point of view and then state your own.

Keep tabs on your tone of voice, the volume, and the speed at which you talk. Think about what messages your face is conveying (ie. Rolled eyes, frowning). Consider moderating your gestures and making them more inclusive. Think about what your body positioning is – are you leaning forward and engaging in the conversation or leaning back and disengaging?

Your communication with your partner doesn't mean total agreement, but it means finding a way to live with each other's opinions.

Fun

Life is not meant to be spent balancing the checkbook and disciplining the kids. Life is to be enjoyed. You should have fun with your partner.

If love is going to be developed, you must genuinely enjoy spending time with the other person.

Try to keep fun in the relationship even in the most stressful times. When you have the money to be extravagant from time to time, indulge the relationship. And, even when money is tight, you can find ways to have fun on the cheap or even free. Window shopping, after all, doesn't cost a dime.
Ps. ==>>Great ways to make your relationship top notch <<==

We Are Getting Back Together:2nd Article On Sparks Of Love Series

This is the 2nd article in the series of articles on the "Sparks of Love".
As you will remember yesterday's article left off with the discussion on loyalty to your partner. The most important part is likely being monogamous in the relationship.

Monogamy

Monogamy boils down to sexual loyalty. If you are in an exclusive relationship, you have sex only with that person. And, you don't quibble about what sex consists of. Your affections are totally reserved for the person you love. Being sexually exclusive helps your relationship grow emotionally.

Maturity

Two seventh grade students who are “going steady” don't have much maturity – and their “relationships” tend to fall apart in a matter of weeks (or even days) as any middle school teacher will tell you.

But, in an adult relationship, both parties need to have a significant level of maturity to make the thing last. When you have proper emotional development, you are able to see the “big picture” and not sweat the small stuff. You won't just consider your own point of view, you will be able to see the world through your partner's eyes.

When you are mature, you treat the other person well. It's the right thing to do and you know your relationship will benefit as a result. You know that you won't get everything you want and you are prepared to compromise.

When you are mature, you are ready to give as well as receive whereas immature people focus only on their own needs.

Psychological Health

The healthier you are personally, the better the chances are that a relationship can work. This means you are emotionally stable, responsible and independent. You should also have reasonably developed social skills.

A person must be in touch with reality in order to have reasonable expectations for the relationship. You should be free from addictions and not engage in self defeating behaviors.

When people in a relationship suffer from poor psychological health, the relationship will falter. Most relationships cannot survive when one person is significantly healthier than the other.

If you feel you are in poor psychological or emotional health, it may be best to seek personal therapy before engaging in a meaningful relationship in order to have the best chance at success in romance.

Morality

One of the most important aspects to your sense of self is your morality. What things do you consider must be done in order to live a moral life? What things must be avoided. Are social justice, equality, and eco-awareness central to your morality or are your values centered around family values and traditional economics? These things can make a big difference in your relationship.

That is not to say that you have to agree on everything in the political sphere. But, it is necessary that you agree on what is right and what is wrong.

Many times a person's morality is tied in with his or her religious beliefs. So, if you are a highly religious person and you are dating someone who disdains religion, you probably don't have enough shared morality to move forward.

There are some lines that must not be crossed. What are they for you? If your partner does not share these boundaries, you will have endless fights.

Having a shared moral code is one of the most important aspects to your successful relationship.

Tomorrows article will pick up on having shared goals in the relationship.

Ps. Here is how to survive a tough situation in your relation ==>>>

We Are Getting Back Together:Sparks of Love Now and Forever

Introduction

This series of articles is about the spark of love. What makes a couple compatible? And is it the things we always imagined?

There are many myths about what matters and what doesn't. There are also things that you might have overlooked as the first blush of attraction crept your way.

There was something that sparked your interest and got you to your first date. Something on that date brought you back for a second.

Now you are in a relationship – you are either serious with a boyfriend or girlfriend or you are married. Now, it is time to analyze your compatibility. But this is no easy checklist. It's a combination of shared values, experiences, and interests.

But relationships are too important to not analyze. That is why we're going to look at 16 things that matter in a relationship and 7 things that don't.

What Matters?

Honesty

Love is more than a mutual sexual attraction, it is a strong emotional bond. Honesty is the glue in that bond.

To become emotionally intimate, you have to share secrets and experiences with your partner that are exclusive to you. This intense, intimate, private exchange requires honesty on the part of both parties. This means that you have to give accurate information about the present as well as the past.

You should know that being honest doesn't mean being rude. If she asks you “does this dress make me look fat?” The answer is always "NO!" You don't have to share things just to hurt your partner. Refrain from spilling your guts in a way that damages the relationship.

Remember, your partner will instinctively trust you because they have put their romantic life in your hands. But, if you violate that trust by lying, he or she may have trouble ever trusting you again.

Trust

Speaking of trust, there is no way you can know what the other person is doing 24/7. That is why you need to trust that they are not doing anything hurtful to you.

That means that you have to trust that they are not being inappropriate with another person, spending community money unwisely, or abusing alcohol, drugs, etc.

Like honesty, once trust is broken, it is hard to get back. Often, the damage done by someone who is untrustworthy can lead to a break up. If the trust violation has been serious, consider couple's counseling if you don't want a split.

Loyalty

If your partner is not for you than who is? You need your significant other to be in your corner 100 percent of the time. That doesn't mean that he or she won't ever criticize you. But it does mean that any critique will be constructive and in your best interest.

Loyalty also means being there for the other person in thick and thin. You should be able to count on your partner when the chips are down.

Finally, loyalty means that your partner is not cheating on you emotionally or sexually with another person.

Tomorrow's article will continue with this series of articles on the sparks of love.

Ps. Meanwhile you can continue watching this Free Video explaining the nuts and bolts in relationships!

We Are Getting Back Together: How To Save A Relationship

Keeping the love alive in a relationship takes work.  While the initial sparks may fly with no effort, over the long haul, it takes creativity and initiative to make things work.

Step outside of your comfort zone.  Don't do things because they're routine or expected.

Whether you're sending her flowers for no reason or giving him a massage, you send the message that you care.  You tell the person that you're not waiting for the perfect "moment" to come along – you live (and love) in the present tense.

We met Max and Mindy at the beginning of this series of articles.  You'll remember that Mindy was feeling restless.  Max knew that in order to keep her, he needed to step it up.

He started by planning a weekend escape doing all of the things she enjoyed (including antique shopping which he could have done without).  The next week, he wrote her a love letter.

Mindy’s interest was sparked.  She, in turn, wanted to start doing things for Max.  She suggested going to a new French restaurant rather than grabbing a pizza one weekend.  For his birthday, she gave him two tickets to the WWF – and said she'd go along with him and didn't even make a funny face when she told him.

As they began to be more creative in their relationship, it spurred the other one to reciprocate.  They stopped feeling like they were in a rut.  Instead of being in a "go no where" relationship, all of a sudden, the spark was lit.  Things began to get exciting and they started to talk about the future.

If you love someone but feel like your relationship is stuck, un-stick it.  You have the power to shake things up by thinking outside of the box.

I've given you a number of suggestions in this series of articles for how to do that.  But you should think about your particular situation and the person you love.  What would make him or her happy?  How can you do the unexpected to get a response that will move your relationship forward?

I guarantee you that if you go out on a limb, something will change in your relationship.

Ps.The Top Notch Guide to a Happy Relationship has helped more then 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back to love again!<<< =Here is how =>>>

We Are Getting Back Together:Think Mystery Date To Keep Your Love Alive

Plan a Mystery Date

Some couples do the same things for every date.  Others depend on the old "so what do you want to do?" routine.

Instead, take charge and plan a mystery date.  Take the time and care to prepare a special date.  Your partner should not be responsible for anything other than showing up.  You should pick the place, choose the activity, buy the tickets, and arrange for the dinner.

Settle on the time and dress ahead of time.  Don't whisk your love off to Paris for a romantic weekend when he or she has a major presentation at work on Monday.  You are only setting yourself up for hurt at your partner’s response if you don't take their schedule into consideration.

But, once you have agreed on the day, let yourself get creative.  Pretend you are planning the world’s most spectacular experience specifically to delight the head and heart of the person you love.

You can be lavish or low key.  It can be close by or far away.

Keep in mind that you are planning something your partner will enjoy, not indulging in your own fantasies.  Focus on making the date, with all of its trimmings, a delight to your love.

Keep in mind that a date doesn't need to be expensive, just imaginative.  A picnic can work as well as a week in Paris.  A home cooked meal can be as romantic as a 5 star restaurant.  This is about your heart, not your wallet.

Taking responsibility to do something that you know the other person will be pleased by can be very romantic.

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Go Someplace New

If a tourist were to come to your town, what are the things he or she would most likely do?

Too often we take our own environs for granted and fall into a routine for our dates.  But you don't have to repeat the same activities for every evening out.

Too many people drop into their favorite neighborhood restaurant, have a Saturday night movie date, or just hang with their friends.  You can spice up your relationship and show your partner that you care about them by doing something new.

When you put some effort into new and different activities, you demonstrate that your partner is worth putting yourself out for.

Consider checking out the weekend section of your daily newspaper or the events section of a weekly alternative paper for great ideas.

Here's a list of places you can visit together:

• Aquariums
• Zoos
• Amusement Parks
• Water Parks
• Beaches
• Museums
• Sculpture Gardens
• Botanical Gardens
• Churches
• Rowboats
• Mountains
• The Desert
• Paris
• Redwood Forest
• New York at Christmas
• Carriage Rides
• Fireplaces
• Country Lanes

Keeping your love fresh by creating a mystery date isn't difficult or expensive, unless you make it so. Just remember you are doing this for your significant other and not yourself.

Ps.Always do everything from your heart and you will make up instead of break up in your relationship!

We Are Getting Back Together: How To Surprise Your Partner

Clean Your Love's Place

Leslie was very organized by nature.  Rick was not.  Rick's work shed was an absolute mess and he complained that he could never find anything.

The work shed was someplace that Leslie didn't frequent.  She didn't care whether he kept it clean or not.  But, she knew that he would love to have it organized.

So, as a birthday gift, she gave him a note saying she would clean it for him.

Many times men express their love for their partner by "doing things."  Women should do the same.

Doing something concrete for the person you love can be one of the most romantic things you can do.  When she comes in and cleans his place or he goes and cleans out her rain gutters, partners are making a time commitment into the relationship.

The idea of someone we love doing something we loathe is just really cool.  Besides, cleaning someone else's place isn't as bad as working on your own place.

Don't send the message that "you’re a slob" though.  You might want to clean one room, for instance.  Do it in a spirit of love and not "I'm sick of this clutter."

Don"t think about throwing anything away – especially things that he or she loves.  Remember, it’s not about changing his or her behavior but about showing how much you care.  It"s okay to polish the chrome in the bathroom, but throwing things out is not okay.

It's not fair to peak into drawers and invade someone's private life when you are doing them a favor and cleaning.

Also, unless you have a key and free reign of the place, giving a "gift certificate" good for doing the laundry, cleaning the oven, mowing the lawn or waxing the car may be a better idea than breaking and entering.

Do Something He or She Likes

No two people are exactly alike.  In the early days of a relationship, you"re probably willing to do just about anything to spend time with your partner.  But, as the relationship develops, you start to want to spend time doing "your" things or doing things together that you can both enjoy.

That's why it is such a treat when you say you'll do something that your partner likes exclusively.  Give her tickets to the ballet (and the promise that you'll go without complaining.  Give him tickets to Professional Wrestling and avoid making comments that it's all made up.

And, you don't have to actually give the tickets.  Give a "gift certificate" for "one event of your chose with no complaints and no strings attached."

Your willingness to do something you hate because the person you love loves it, is one of the true signs of love.

Another idea is to give a gift certificate for a "night out with the girls or boys" without recrimination or recompense (and of course, without whining).  This tells your partner that you care about them and really want to make them happy.  Even though you do lots of things together, you don't have to do everything together.
Ps. This is the perfect gift to yourself to maintain a loving relationship ==>>>

Intimacy To Keep Your Love Alive and Well

Give Him or Her a Massage

Not every kind of being physical; involves sex.  For instance, holding hands is a sweet way to connect that doesn't imply anything more than it is.  Dancing is another way to connect physically without sex.

Similarly, giving your partner a massage can be sensual and sexy without involving sex.

The goal is to celebrate sensual intimacy independent of sexuality.  A massage doesn't have to be a seduction.  The goal is good feelings that aren't genitally centered.  You want to feel warm, happy and contented – not sexual.

Don’t treat a massage as a quid pro quo.  It's a gift.  Maybe later your partner will want to give you a gift of massage.  But right now it is something you are giving him or her.

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You'll want to get some good massage oil for the massage.  Then find a flat surface in a comfortably warm room.  A bed will work, but you don't want to ruin expensive sheets and towels.  Find some soothing music and soft lighting.

You can choose to give a full body massage or a less intimate one.  If you are giving a full body massage, remember to include the hands and feet.  It’s a good idea to exclude genitalia when giving the gift of a massage and always offer the option of underwear kept on.

If you aren't at a sexual stage of a relationship, you can offer a hand and foot massage as an alternative to a full body massage.

Plan to spend at least an hour on the massage.

If you are unsure about how to give a massage, you can get a good book from the book store, take a class, or practice on a friend first (who will love being your practice object!)

Michelle and Brian decided to take a couple's massage class together.  It was a fun way to get out and meet people.  But it also strengthened their relationship because they developed a practical skill that they could use in their relationship.

Now they love to give – and receive – massages and they feel that they are competent in giving them.  They feel like they save hundreds of dollars a year in masseuse fees and give each other a special gift at the same time.

Shampoo and Bathe Your Love

In many cultures, baths have had ritual status both as a way of purifying but also of relaxing and celebrating.

There is something very loving about washing someone.  The warm water, soap and bubbles take us back to being cared for and pampered and loved.

A long, careful, gentle shampoo is sexy.  Get some scented candles and soft music to go along with it.

While a shower has its own sex appeal, that’s not what were talking about here.

Bathing together when there is a hygiene problem on the part of one partner can be a fun and nifty way of bypassing those less than romantic odor discussions.

You can also make bathing independent of lovemaking.  In fact, it may be even more romantic when it is independent of sex.  Play geisha girl or boy to your loved one.

Ps. Take Care of yourself and your relationship and it may last forever. Need some emergency advice about
your relationship? Follow me =>>>>

Keeping Your Love Fresh and Alive By Sharing Baby Pictures and Childhood Stories

Share Baby Pictures and Childhood Stories

There's a reason your mom trots out your baby pictures.  You were really cuddly, sweet and innocent back then.  There's something elemental and basic about seeing who you were then.

You may be feeling a little silly about sharing your early stories, but if you show your partner a little about who you were then, he or she will know more about you and who you've become.

This is not a time for sharing the dysfunction and abuse you suffered as a child, if there was any.  Instead, you want to share the charm and nostalgia of your childhood.

If you are comfortable, consider sharing a childhood photo album with your sweetheart with your mom and dad.  They will undoubtedly have some memories to share that you won't think of.  This won’t work for every couple though.  If you feel that your parents or family has a hidden agenda, then stay clear.

Also, this is not the time to bring up the story of every date you went out on in your life.  This is a time for bonding together not growing apart.

However it is perfectly fine to show pictures of your early teens and the early teen boyfriends. As you know these pictures could be a bit gawky and somewhat embarrassing but your true love will see them as another part of you they didn't know until now.

Breaking out the junior high and senior high school year books is another way to keep your love fresh and alive. This may be especially effective if you and your true love are still together all these year later. The memories of your early discovery of each other can really bring forth a lot of laughs and maybe even a few tears as your love grew for each other.

Now a word of caution needs to be offered at this time. Be careful about showing the pictures of you and someone else that may have had a short lived fling in junior and senior high. Especially if your true love still has some lingering resentment over it.
Ps. Sharing is caring and here is how =>>>

Recreate Your First Date To Keep Your Love Fresh

Recreate Your First Date

Remember your first date?  First dates are so laden with emotion.  You may have planned the perfect first date and then not had much fun on it because you were a bundle of nerves.

Jeremy and Susan had met through the personals and decided to go to a movie on their first date – after all, that's about as public a place as you can get, right?  It seemed like a safe bet for a date with a stranger.

Well, it was a Tuesday night and the movie had been out for over a month.  The theater was entirely empty.  Susan had trouble enjoying the movie because she was freaked out about being alone in a dark theater with someone she had never met.

But, Jeremy suggested coffee and desert afterwards and she agreed (as long as there were people around).

They found they enjoyed each other's company and a second date lead to a third.

They had been to many movies since that first date, but never once had the theater been empty again.

Recreate Your First Date To Keep Your Love Fresh

So, for the couple's eighth wedding anniversary, Susan arranged to rent an entire theater movie screen for a mid week showing and have a movie date all to themselves.  Because it was a smaller screen and it was mid week, it wasn't as expensive as you’d might imagine.

This time, it was a lot of fun to be alone in the dark together.

One fun thing to do is to recreate your first date.  It has all of the excitement of the first time around but without the nerves.

Sharing your history with each other can give you a perspective that allows you to weather temporary glitches better because of the sense of shared past.  Nothing is more romantic than the sense that you’ve come through troubled times together.  Going on your first date again is the metaphorical equivalent of being cozied up in front of a roaring fire together with a cold wind blowing outside.

If you can't recreate the date for some reason (the restaurant went out of business, you live in a different city, etc.) Consider reminiscing in a note or conversation to help remind each other of some of the landmarks in your relationship.  These can include your first date, your first kiss, or the first time you knew it was serious.  These are the things that make you feel closer to one another
Ps. Proven relationship help here =>>>

Write A Love Note To Keep Love Fresh

Henry wasn't much of a communicator.  He expressed his love by doing things.  It would take him two months to work up to 'I love you' but he would clean a woman's gutters after a second date.

But when he fell in love with Sarah, he felt like he needed to really express himself.

On several occasions, he tried to put things into words, but his verbalization's weren't working.

So, despite the fact that he wasn't all that comfortable writing, he took a stab at a love note.  He gave himself plenty of time and worked on it for over a week.  When he finally had the words just right, he copied them onto nice paper, rolled up the note and stuck it in a bottle.

When Sarah received the note she felt that it was the greatest gift anyone had ever given her.  Because it was out of character, because it was hard for him, she valued it always.

You don’t have to be J.K. Rawlings to write a love note.  But if you do, it will be more valuable to your partner than Harry Potter was to Ms. Rawlings.

In these days of email and instant messaging, writing a love note by hand is one of the most romantic things you can do.  Write a short note about 'what I like about you.'  Write a poem (it doesn't have to rhyme).  Or, pour your heart out over several pages.  These notes will be saved and cherished for a long time.

We Are Getting Back Together Again

If you have any artistic sense, adding a drawing or sketch is a nice touch.

But, the point here isn't so much about writing skill or artistry as sincerity.  Write a sweet sentiment from your heart.  Write something gentle and touching.  And, try not to make it sexually graphic.  This is about romance not sex.

It’s a good idea to buy a nice sheet of paper to write the note on.  It makes it clear that you are making an effort.  Don't type your note.  If your handwriting is lousy, it’s okay to print.  Write in ink – pencil fades and he or she will want to keep this love note for a long time.

You may want to consider writing the letter out first and then transferring it to your nice paper.  Try not to misspell too much and make sure your note is legible.  You're not looking to score points with an English teacher, but you also don't want the mechanics to get in the way of the message.

Finally, make sure that your love note doesn't fall into the wrong hands.  Consider leaving it on his or her pillow or someplace else where no one else will look.  Remember also that X-rated notes may come back to haunt you – make it a love not a smut note.

Don't send a romantic note to their work place because a colleague is apt to discover it.

Ps. Here is the solution in writing to express love if you need to make up with your ex and need some help to put the right words together =>The Magic Second Chance Letter<=

We Are Getting Back Together: How To Keep Your Love Fresh and Alive

Max and Mindy had been going out for six months.  They had fallen into a rut.  Friday nights meant pizza and a video after work.  Saturdays usually involved a bar.  And Sunday mornings, Max would go out for bagels and they'd have a continental breakfast in bed.

Things were getting too routine and Mindy was beginning to get restless.  Max was determined to shake things up because he sensed he would lose Mindy if he didn't.

This article is all about how to shake things up.  It’s about keeping your love fresh and alive.

Introduction

Being romantic when you just start dating is easy.  But, how can you keep the fun, energy, interest and romance alive on an ongoing basis?

A relationship is like a budding plant complete with aluminum foil and a big bow.  You can't put the plant in a window and ignore it.  If you do, it will die.  It needs pruning, watering, and nurturing to thrive.  Your relationship needs the same care, consideration and knowledge.  This article will give you some tips on how to do that.

We Are Getting Back Together

Send Flowers for No Reason

The receptionist at Laurie's office buzzed her excitedly.  "Laurie, you've got the biggest bouquet out here.  Come and get it."

Laurie was excited but confused.  It wasn't her birthday.  She and Gregg hadn't had a big fight.  What were the flowers for?

She went to pick them up and as she walked down the hall with them, people (mostly the women) admired them.

All day, people popped in the cubicle and complimented her on her beautiful arrangement.  And, they asked about how her relationship was going.

Over and over, she told people about her wonderful boyfriend Gregg.  And, on each telling of the story, she felt a little bit better about her relationship.

Gregg got a lot of mileage out of a bouquet out of the blue.

You know to send her flowers on Valentine's Day and her birthday.  But have you considered sending flowers to her at work for no reason at all?

The romance of Valentine 's Day isn't about the food or flowers.  It's the feeling of being loved enough to be fussed over and cherished.  It's the sharing of a loving experience.  When you pick out a gift, you are sharing something with someone.

But you don't have to wait for February 14 to roll around to share these feelings.  You can make any day Valentines Day – and because it is not a "prescribed" holiday, you'll get more brownie points for doing it.

Why flowers?

Flowers remind us of Mother Nature at her most lovely.  Women are happy receiving most any kind of flower.  Men tend to be more choosy about the flowers they appreciate receiving.  Women, consider sending your man an amaryllis, chrysanthemums, are even a plant.  If you are sending them to his office, forget the teddy bears, kissy faces or cherubs.  Don't put him in the position of getting teased unmercifully at his place of work.

But men can send just about anything to a woman at work.  Women get completely ga-ga about almost anything and if guys knew the real impact of flowers, they would keep a florist on retainer.

Don't send the same flowers all the time either.  While roses are romantic, you don't want to get into a rut.

Also, don't reserve flowers for birthdays, fights, or special events.  Flowers for everyday are a powerful way to mix up a relationship.

Ps. If You Need Your Ex Back Then You Will Need This >>>>

Immediate Relationship Rescue Mode Can Be Complicated

Every relationship begins with a sense of excitement and anticipation. There's a lot of fun involved and both men and women enjoy discovering little things about their new partner.

Yet there are circumstances that can drive even the best couples apart. No matter how good you think your relationship is, there are some factors that could destroy even the closest partnership.

When this happens most couples go into immediate relationship rescue mode, trying to repair the damage that's been done. Unfortunately these measures can sometimes cause your partner to retreat even further away from you. Some couples don't even bother trying to repair the damage, believing the relationship is over.

Immediate Relationship Rescue Mode Can Be Complicated

This report is designed to look closely at some of the major reasons why relationships fail and what you can do to help mend the situation and put your partnership back together again.

There are a myriad of things that could go wrong in any relationship and sometimes they're out of your control. Of course, sometimes those reasons might be directly related to something you've said or done without even knowing you've done anything wrong.

Hopefully you'll be able to put the pieces together again stronger and better than it was before and continue your relationship with a new-found happiness.

Unfortunately there will be some situations where it may be worth reconsidering if your partner is really the right one for you at all.

Every relationship is different, just as every person is unique to themselves. We each have our little individual traits that sometimes other people love or they hate. This is also true of your partner.

There may also be those situations where no matter what you do or say, the relationship is still doomed to fail. In those circumstances, you need to remember that things happen for a reason. A failed relationship is devastating, but when there are reasons beyond your control for the break-down, the best option might just be to move on and learn from past experiences.

It's time to look at some of the major causes of relationship break-downs – in no particular order – and what you can do to try and mend them.

Tomorrow's article will continue the series of articles on "Immediate Relationship Rescue Mode".

Ps. While you are waiting for tomorrows article you really should read this to get your love back on track again as fast as possible.

How to Convert a Girlfriend to a "Friend With Benefits"

This article is going to be very direct and to the point about continuing a sexual relationship with the girlfriend you have broken up with.

Some guys have a girlfriend with whom they are sexually compatible with, but who, for some reason or other, does not make good girlfriend material. If this is the case, can you convert a girlfriend to "friends with benefits" or " a sex buddy" status?

Generally "friends with benefits" means that you will hang out together sometimes, particularly in groups, and that you will sleep together, but that you will have an understanding that it is not a romantic relationship and that it is not leading to something bigger.

A "sex buddy” is someone with whom you sleep with occasionally but do not ever socialize with outside the bedroom.

How to Convert a Girlfriend to a "Friend With Benefits"

If you are going to turn your girlfriend into someone with whom you continue to sleep with, you should not have the "break up conversation" right away. Instead, start to distance yourself from her first. Stop going out with her as often, return her phone calls more sporadically, and stop being there emotionally for her.

Once you have "the talk" do some specific things to let her know that the romantic portion of the relationship is over. For instance, never have sex in your bed again. Either go to her place and not spend the night or have sex on the couch at your place.

Don't do "boyfriend" things any longer. For instance, you don't buy your sex buddy a dozen roses for Valentine's day. And, you wouldn't spend more money on a Christmas present for a "friend with benefits" than you would on any other friend. You also shouldn't lend her money as this complicates the relationship.

Don't see her more than once a week or so. You should be dating other girls and not have time for more than a once a week encounter.

Don't let her introduce you as her boyfriend. You don't want to let her think of you this way, even if it does smooth the waters at times.

Finally, you should try to avoid getting involved with her family and the circle of friends that is "hers" (as opposed to your mutual friends.) Again, you are not her boyfriend. She is not entitled to have you as a boyfriend substitute even if you are sleeping with her.

Conclusion

Yes, breaking up is hard to do. And, if you care about your girlfriend and don't want to break her heart, you have to approach it right. Just remember these three things:

1. No matter what you do to mitigate it, if there was ever love in the relationship, it will hurt both of you to break up. This hurt is part of life.

2. There is never a perfect time or perfect place to break up. Keep her feelings and life circumstances in mind when you choose to break up, but know that it's never going to be "just right."

3. If the relationship isn't working, you are doing both you and her a favor by allowing you to move on and find people with whom you can build a real life. Even if you love your girlfriend, you have to set her free to find her true love. And, you have to be free to find yours.
Ps. Fast useful  break up or make up help right now from this Free Video!

Dealing With Her Reaction When You Break Up

You know your girlfriend better than almost anyone else, so you may be able to predict how she will react. Some of the ways women react to being told the relationship is over is to cry, have hysterics, scream at you, throw things, and storm out. Unless you perceive that there is any chance of real violence, you just have to put up with whatever scene she causes. That's the price of breaking up.

You can't control her, but you can control your reaction to her. For instance, when she cries, you can start crying too. That will really throw her. It doesn't have to be a sloppy cry, but a tear or two might stop her in her tracks.

If she starts yelling, you can take it with stoic silence. If she wants to know why you are doing this, you can soothe her and lie.

If she doesn't say anything, don't fill up the silence with explanations. Let her finish her dinner in silence and let her leave.

Be prepared for her arguments about why you should remain a couple. She may promise anything if you will agree to stay together. But, by the time you have decided to break up, you should already know that there is nothing she or you can do to change the situation and you are both better off single.

Whatever you do, you should have a disentanglement strategy. Perhaps you can schedule an appointment for one hour after the break up meeting time. If this is an appointment that you just can't miss, you will have to walk out of there composed.

How to Tell Her

Now we get to the nitty-gritty. How should you tell your girlfriend that you are breaking up? Avoid psychobabble. She'll see right through it. Saying "it's not you, it's me" is meaningless because she is going to know that it really is her. You are not calling all women off. You're calling her off.

Be clear that you are breaking up with her and there is no room for discussion. This is a decision you have made and it requires no input or discussion on her part.

Be concise. You don't have to drag it out if you don't want to. She can cry on her girlfriends' shoulders. You are no longer her punching bag.

You may feel that you have to offer explanations, but you really don't. You are not doing her any favors by telling her that she is a nag or that you are tired of her manipulating you. It won't help her be a better girlfriend for another guy. She'll just use your words against you. And, you won't get anything out of it.

Perhaps the best line is "I don’t think we're a good fit anymore." Leave it at that and walk away if you're smart.
Ps. Whatever you say or do in the middle of a breakup it all come down to one thing. Everything we give out
we receive back; the good and the bad so before you are in the middle of a storm learn how to handle it or to avoid it by watching this!

We Are Getting Back Together: Dont Break Up Online

There are exceptions to this "dont break up online" including:

You are in middle school

It has been an entirely virtual relationship (email personals, Second Life relationship)

You are in a long distance relationship in which case the phone is okay, but email is still a sucky way to go.

If you think the break up may result in violence, it is acceptable to call it off without your personal presence.

One advantage of not being present when breaking up with someone is that you don’t have to be with them or deal with their emotions when you call things off. This is counterbalanced with the disadvantages which include:
* The person will think less of you
* You ill come off as more of a jerk than you really are
* Your dumping will be recorded and shared with all of her girlfriends.
* It may feel incomplete to you.

 Dont Break Up Online 

If you have a wide circle of friends in common, work together, attend church together, or for any reason are going to continue to see each other, do not break up by electronic means. It will come back to haunt you.

So, if you have to do it in person, where should it be?

One place people think about breaking up is at her house or yours. But, you should consider whether this is a good idea as well.

If you go over to her house, you have to find a way to exit gracefully. If you do it at your house, you have the problem of finding a way to get her to leave. Either way, it tends to not have a sense of resolution.

Furthermore, you are going to live at your house (and she at hers) so breaking up at home will leave negative residual memories at the place of the break up. If you break up at a restaurant, she can just avoid that eating place from now on. It is a lot harder to avoid one's
couch.

If you live together, the home break up is even more complicated. One of you will have to move out. If you are preparing to break up, you should have a plan for where to spend the night and how you are going to get your stuff.

Unless you own the residence in your name only, you should assume that you are the one who has to move out and make plans accordingly. If there is a logical reason why she should do the moving out, you should still be prepared to temporarily decamp so that she has the
time to make new arrangements.

So, that leaves public places as the optimal place to break up. There are many reasons why breaking up in public is the way to go.

For one thing, she is less likely to become emotional or dramatic when there are people around. You can say your piece. For another thing, once you have said your piece, you can leave. She is also free to leave at any time.

Now, she can get emotional, throw her glass of wine in your face, and have dramatic hysterics. This would be embarrassing for you. But, you don't know these people and you will never see them again. Breaking up in a public place is preferable to all of the other options.

Ps. If you need further advice about breaking up or maybe getting back together with ex here it is
The Magic of Making Up. The best relationship guide since 2008.

Get the Timing Right When You Break Up

There is never a "good"time to break up with a girl. But, there are some times that are worse than others. For instance, breaking up with a girl just before Christmas, Valentine’s Day or her birthday really sucks! (This is especially true if you just don't want to buy her a present.)

If she has major events in her life going on, it may be best to wait until after they have been resolved. For instance, if you have been in a long term relationship with a girl and she has her comprehensive exams for a master's degree coming up in two weeks, it would probably
be the gentlemanly thing to do to wait.

Perhaps no life event is more stressful than having a major medical happening. Don't be like former House Speaker Newt Gingrich who presented the divorce papers to his first wife when she was recovering from Breast Cancer surgery. Not only does this make you a cad, it makes you look like a cad!

But recognize that there’s always something going on, both in your life and in hers. If you delay the break up for a specific event and then find there is another event on the horizon, at some point you are just going to have to bite the bullet and call the whole thing off, whatever
the circumstances.

Places to Break Up and Places to Avoid Breaking Up

Figuring out where to break up can be as difficult as finding the words to say. But selecting the proper break up venue is critical.

First of all, you never, ever want to break up in a car. The reason why is pretty obvious: it could be dangerous! But, there is also the consideration that neither of you can walk away when tensions are high.

Most car break ups aren't planned. A typical car break up is more of a spontaneous outburst, perhaps with an underlying intent to break up soon.

For instance, you are at a party and you see her flirting with another guy. You have been thinking about breaking up with her already, but this really gets your goat. So, on the way home (after having a couple of drinks no less), you start arguing. She says she was just
being friendly. You accuse her of having an affair with the guy. Pretty soon, you are shouting at each other. The car is swerving all over the road. She's crying. And you finally say, "I’ve
had it. We’re through."

This is not the best way to break up!

Another bad way to break up is when you avoid doing it in person. Whether you send a letter, text, email, or make a phone call, you're hiding behind technology. Not only does this make you a coward, but she's going to tell all of her friends what a coward you were.

Besides, Britney Spears broke up with Kevin Federline by email. Do you want to be so Britney?

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We Are Getting Back Together: Kinds of Break Ups

You don't love her, she doesn't love you. This is perhaps the easiest relationship to break off. Perhaps you haven't been together long or alternatively, you've drifted so far apart that you don't even remember what brought you together in the first place. In any case, while the
“encounter” of breaking up may be difficult, you'll both heal quickly.

You don't love her, she loves you. When you have fallen out of love with your girlfriend, but she passionately loves you, breaking up is hard. This really is a case of "it's not you, it's me."
But, that message is hard to convey in anything less than a trite way. You have to break up so that both of you can move on. Remember, it is better to set her free to find someone who can love her like she deserves.

You love her, she doesn't love you. This is the so-called "defensive break up." She may be sticking around for any number of reasons, but she doesn't love you any more. You owe it to yourself to find someone who can care about you like you deserve.

You love her, she loves you, it wasn't meant to be. This is the hardest kind of break up. You both love each other, but something – religion, family, timing, you name it – is standing in your
way. You have to be honest. Continuing the relationship is futile. You are both better off ending the relationship now rather than getting deeper when the relationship can never end in
marriage.

Ways to Prepare Her for the Break Up

You don't have to rush into a break up just because you have decided to call it off. Giving her some time to get used to the idea can be the nicest thing you do for her.

For instance, you can stop having as much time for her. This will push her into finding ways to spend her time without you. She will also start to look at other guys as they are filling the attention void you leave open.

You can also stop catering to her needs. If you dress a certain way to please her or modify your driving style when she is with you, you should start doing what you please. This will make you less attractive to her.

There are some juvenile tricks that can be employed as well:

* Let yourself go – she'll wonder why she ever wanted you!
* Be a bad date – she'll start looking at other guys with envy.
* Compare her to her mother – that is sure to make her mad at you and prepare her for what is coming.

You should also try to prepare her by bringing up the subject of breaking up. You can pull a trick out of the girlfriend bag and ask to have a “relationship talk,” (“where do you think this relationship is going…”) Ask her where she thinks the relationship is going and if she sees it as a good thing.

These things will help her mentally prepare for the break up. Who knows, maybe she'll even go as far as initiating the break up herself; saving you the trouble.
Ps. If you are sure dont wait with breaking up but do it nicely and always leave the door open for something better can happen, maybe a reunion or a new love. Discover the magic second chance letter.

Are You Really Thinking About Dumping Your Girlfriend?

Are you thinking about dumping your girlfriend? Chances are, if you are thinking about it, the relationship is already over. Now, what you have to decide is how to do it.

As the song says, "breaking up is hard to do." There are so many reasons that you put it off.

For one thing, it's easier to just keep on keeping on. Having a girlfriend is convenient. It means not having to be alone on a cold night, not having to come up with a pick up line, and not having your family wonder why you didn't bring a date to cousin Sophie’s wedding.

For another thing, part of you still loves your girlfriend. You know that breaking up will break her heart. So, you wait – for just the right time, for just the right place, and for just the right words to say.

Guess what? It is going to be hard whenever you do it. So, make the commitment to break up and then find a way to do it. Most of the time, women are the ones who initiate a split in a relationship. So, why do guys break up with their girlfriends? Here are 10 good reasons to call it quits:

#10 – She nags you. If she acts like she's your mother and you are 4 years old, the relationship just isn’t going to work. If you constantly are telling her, “stop nagging,” it’s a good time to break up.

#9 – She doesn’t appreciate you. Let's face it, there are plenty of women who will see you for the compassionate, loving guy you are. If she doesn't think you are a great guy, dump her and find someone who does.

#8 – She’s too emotional. A girl who is high maintenance is the pits. And, when the maintenance has to do with taking care of her emotions, sometimes it's better to cut free.

#7 – She manipulates you. Some women feel that they can only get what they need through manipulation. In fact, they would rather play games than ask nicely. If you feel like she is too manipulative, it is a good idea to get out of the relationship.

#6 – She underestimates you. Nothing is more frustrating than having to constantly prove yourself to someone who should be your biggest cheerleader. If she is constantly surprised when you succeed or if she undermines your success, you should consider getting out of the
relationship.

#5 – She stops putting out. There are lots of reasons why having a steady girlfriend is wonderful. But let’s face it, the number one reason is that you know you’ll have someone there at the end of a Saturday night. If she stops giving it to you on a regular basis, it’s time
to find your fortune elsewhere.

#4 – She tries to change you. There is a play called "I love you. You"re perfect. Now change." That sums up what happens in all too many relationships. A woman falls in love with you and thinks you are the perfect man and then finds all kinds of reasons why you should change. If she tries to stop you from being the person you are and the person you want to be, get out.

Are You Really Thinking About Dumping Your Girlfriend?

#3 – She cheats on you. Whether it is a one night stand or a secret relationship with a coworker, a woman's cheating can drive a stake through the heart of a relationship. Unless you are prepared to forgive and then completely forget the affair, you have to break the
relationship off. The cheating will fester like a wound and destroy your relationship.

#2 – She doesn't love you anymore. Do you feel that she has fallen out of love with you but doesn't know how to end it? Is inertia all that is keeping you together? If so, you might have to be the one who calls it quits.

#1 – You don't love her anymore. If you love her like a sister or friend but just don't have the romantic feelings that sustain an intimate relationship, you owe it to her to be honest. Sure, she's going to hurt. A lot. But you are better off setting her free to find someone who loves
her like she deserves.

Go ahead and reread this article and give it some thought and you will shortly begin to realize that all the above 10 reasons are indeed some of the same reason you have put off dumping your girlfriend. In the next article in this series of articles we will continue to discuss the type of break ups. Stay Tuned!
Ps. Remember to be honest and thruthful to yourself and what you feel in the relationship and follow the voice of your heart! Need some more advice? Here it is!

We Are Getting Back Together: Keeping the Passion Alive

As we have mentioned before, the key to keeping the passion alive is keep doing all those little things that made you happy in the beginning. What many people don't realize is that the "chemical attraction" they think wears off in time is not pure hormones responding, but more about the mental connection we have with a person.

This should be a concept to make us all happy because this means that the more time we spend in a relationship with someone the greater our connection and therefore the greater the passion.

But, as with anything, you have to work at keeping it alive and not just allow yourself to be taken in by the idea that it is normal for passion to die after a number of years. This is just not true. Passion dies because we begin to take it for granted and think that we don't have to do anything anymore.

Keeping the Passion Alive

Let's imagine that right now you feel nothing can rekindle the passion. Just close your eyes and visualize a candlelit dinner with your partner, both of you dressed to impress, followed by a nice, long romantic walk on the beach. That scenario definitely tends to inject more passion into a relationship than both of you barely grunting at each other that you are tired and there's so much to do that you don't have time for each other.

Another common problem is time. You never have time, right? Well, you could probably schedule a romantic evening for the both of you at least once a month, after you have your priorities in order.

Ask yourself what is more important to you: watching a rerun on television or spending time with the one person who can empower you and who will always be there for you? Try cutting down on television time and you may be surprised how much free time you really do have.

Don't let yourself take things for granted because life with the person you love and who loves you can be amazingly fulfilling and beautiful. But it's only as beautiful as we allow it to be, so commit to changing yourself and your relationship and you will become a better person as you live the life of your dreams.

In conclusion, if you commit to your relationship then you will find you will completely avoid the pain of a breakup happening again, because the more you give the more you will receive.

There is no obstacle in life that cannot be overcome together and if you create a lasting relationship in which you empower each other then you will find that nothing can stand in your way. Conquer your fears and insecurities so you can create the truly extraordinary life you deserve, with your partner by your side.
Ps. Never stop giving and you will see how it flow back into your life; here is my poem for you

Love Is All Around

It Cant Be Lost

It Cant Be Found

DickScott2013

Ps2. Read how 50,119 people found love again!

We Are Getting Back Together: Creating a Lasting Relationship

So you have succeeded to win your ex back and are in a relationship with the person you love again. You need to focus on the importance of creating lasting change and not a temporary solution. This means that you will have to uncover what truly drives your partner, their fears, pain as well as pleasure.

Humans do everything they do to protect themselves from pain or to gain pleasure. Usually, the avoidance of pain is more powerful than gaining pleasure so people will run away and do everything in their power to avoid pain.

Now, if you are back together again that means you have succeeded in rebuilding their trust in you and they believe that you will deliver. So whatever you do, don't fall back into your old patterns or you will undo all of your work in moments. No matter your fears or insecurities, you have to set them aside and stop expecting the worst as this will ultimately come through and it will become a self fulfilling prophecy.

Even when things are great people still have the tendency to try and protect themselves from pain because they believe it's too good to last. When you start thinking like that you begin to pull away and creating walls to protect yourself even though nothing has happened.

Society seems to thrive on pain and we have been conditioned to believe that good things don't last. But the only reason they don't last is because we don't allow them to by allowing our fears to take control of us and eventually sabotaging ourselves.

Another reason relationships end is because we allow ourselves to start taking things for granted after a while as we get caught up in other aspects of our lives and we no longer do all those little things that used to make the relationship wonderful. A relationship is just like a flower that needs to be nurtured and cared for to thrive and but we allow our self to forget how wonderful we felt when we were giving the relationship everything we have.

 Creating a Lasting Relationship

The way you can avoid this is by maintaining awareness and focusing on giving to your partner rather than receiving. Don't allow yourself to lapse into that state of familiarity where you no longer take care of yourself or do those small things that bring a smile to your significant others face.

Remember that feeling of joy you get when you see them smile and see the happiness on your face as that will help keep your focus. Your partner will automatically respond to your actions so that you will both avoid the traps of familiarity. As they say, familiarity breeds contempt, which is definitely something you want to avoid.

Variety is the spice of life and small things can have such a big impact on a relationship that your love and passion can last a lifetime. Just because you have been together for years does not mean you shouldn't bring her flowers or you shouldn't wait for him in your sexy under-things.

You need to remember what you did at the beginning of the relationship that made it wonderful and what you did that showed your partner you loved them.

The key to a lasting relationship is for both of you to understand what the other needs to feel completely loved. You shouldn't just focus on what you need but on what your partner needs as well. Of course, it’s also important not to give yourself over completely to just fulfilling your partner’s needs to the exclusion of your own.

You need to strike a balance between making sure you’re both getting what you need out of the relationship.

For example, if your partner feels loved only when you tell them you love them but you have just been buying them things then they won't feel your love even though you think you are doing your best.

On the other hand maybe you need to be held to feel loved but your partner doesn't know this is what you need so they keep telling you how they feel. By identifying each others emotional needs and how you can satisfy them you will find that your relationship will weather any storm life may throw at it.
Ps.So lets be grateful and let love win over any obstacle! Read how 50,119 people found love again and watch Free Video with tips about relations!