Article 2 In the Series of "The Nuts and Bolts Of Good Communication"

There are times when you are not clear about what your partner wants. In these cases, you can not reflect back on what he or she has said. But, you can still use reflective listening techniques.

There are four main sentence structures for when you don't know what your partner is saying.

The first one is “Are you saying that...” This makes it clear that you don't understand and you need clarification. Make sure this is done with the right tone. If it comes across as accusatory, your partner may shut down rather than give you the information you need.

The next one is “Do you mean that...” This is very similar but instead of looking at what the person is saying, you are digging deeper into their actual aims.

We Are Getting Back Together

Then, you can dig deeper into your partner's words by repeating back the last few words he or she spoke to you. For instance, if your partner says “I feel angry when you do not clean up the mess you made,” you can say “When I don't clean up the mess I made?” By phrasing it as a question, you elicit further communication.

Finally, you can use the first three sentence structures in combination. Here's an example: “I understand that you are feeling ___. But are you also saying ___? So, you might say “I understand that you are feeling overwhelmed. But are you also feeling under appreciated?

Here's the point: when you use reflective listening, your partner feels that he or she has been heard, that their message has been understood, and that you value them. They will realize that you are showing them respect and that you are making a good faith effort in the relationship. Generally, they will leave the conversation feeling positive both toward you and toward the conversation itself. This is true even if you disagree about the issue.

The conversation moves forward as well. Your partner is encouraged to continue the dialogue because you haven't challenged them on core principles.

Finally, you have avoided power struggles. These are the unproductive shouting matches that make both sides feel that they have to stake out their positions and are loathe to move because that would be “giving in.” Power struggles are often marked by shouting matches. The parties use unproductive aggressive words and phrases such as “Yes I did” and “No I didn't.” The power struggle quickly becomes about who was right and who was wrong rather than focusing on a solution to a problem. The goal becomes to win the argument not to come to a resolution on the issue.

pS. Advice, guiding, tips and fast ways to get you and your ex back on track again is available here with a
Free review and Video from the best online resource The Magic Of Making Up.

5th Article In The Series Of Articles on "Sparks Of Love"

It's Important To Find a Partner in the Traditional Way

The traditional way to find a partner is to meet at a single's bar, go on blind dates, or meet someone at a place where you have a common interest like church or a social club.

While many people have had success these ways, non-traditional dating can, in some ways, be even more successful for you.

For instance, how serious are the people at a single's bar going to be about a long term relationship? They tend to be in it for a one night stand. You can go on endless blind dates before you find someone who even rates a second date. And, there may not be enough people involved in the activities you hold dear to date.

But fortunately, the 21st century has brought about large changes in the way people date.

The biggest change, of course, is the rise of internet dating. Now you can meet hundreds of singles in your area safely in your own home. You can exchange emails and photos to see whether there is any interest before you spend the time and money on a date. You can also get to know someone on a personal level before physical attraction becomes the primary issue.

Don't be ashamed to go about meeting people in a non-traditional way. It is the 21st Century After all!

We Are Getting Back Together

I Shouldn't Have to "Settle"

The idea that "I deserve the Best" means that you are never going to find a partner. Nobody is perfect. It doesn't mean that you are "settling" to accept that someone you love has flaws.

This kind of thinking also tends to come from people who have inflated egos. They have a unsubstantiated sense of self worth and don't want anyone who is not as "good" as they are.

Don't look at people as having to be "better" or "worse" than you. Look at them as individuals with potential.

If you are thinking you shouldn't have to "settle" you probably have an ideal partner in mind. Guess what? That person doesn't exist!

If you have this mentality, it's time for a reality check. Personal therapy wouldn't hurt either.

I Want One Person to Have Everything

This is a similar (yet less severe) form of thinking you shouldn't have to settle. You have created an ideal man or woman who can meet all of your needs.

But the truth is that you are a complex person. You may need someone to play poker with, someone to pray with, someone to raise kids with, and someone to have sex with. Three out of four ain't bad.

Your partner is a mere mortal. They have limits. They also have other interests.

Fill your life with a variety of people not just a boyfriend / girlfriend or spouse. You should have friends and family who you can do the things with that don't interest your partner.

Keep in mind that there are some needs that only a partner can help you meet. For your other needs, if your partner meets them that's great, but you can "outsource" them to other people!

Ps. Remember your twin soul is waiting out there and if you need to lighten up your existing relation watch
this 00
   

We Are Getting Back Together: How To Keep Your Love Fresh and Alive

Max and Mindy had been going out for six months.  They had fallen into a rut.  Friday nights meant pizza and a video after work.  Saturdays usually involved a bar.  And Sunday mornings, Max would go out for bagels and they'd have a continental breakfast in bed.

Things were getting too routine and Mindy was beginning to get restless.  Max was determined to shake things up because he sensed he would lose Mindy if he didn't.

This article is all about how to shake things up.  It’s about keeping your love fresh and alive.

Introduction

Being romantic when you just start dating is easy.  But, how can you keep the fun, energy, interest and romance alive on an ongoing basis?

A relationship is like a budding plant complete with aluminum foil and a big bow.  You can't put the plant in a window and ignore it.  If you do, it will die.  It needs pruning, watering, and nurturing to thrive.  Your relationship needs the same care, consideration and knowledge.  This article will give you some tips on how to do that.

We Are Getting Back Together

Send Flowers for No Reason

The receptionist at Laurie's office buzzed her excitedly.  "Laurie, you've got the biggest bouquet out here.  Come and get it."

Laurie was excited but confused.  It wasn't her birthday.  She and Gregg hadn't had a big fight.  What were the flowers for?

She went to pick them up and as she walked down the hall with them, people (mostly the women) admired them.

All day, people popped in the cubicle and complimented her on her beautiful arrangement.  And, they asked about how her relationship was going.

Over and over, she told people about her wonderful boyfriend Gregg.  And, on each telling of the story, she felt a little bit better about her relationship.

Gregg got a lot of mileage out of a bouquet out of the blue.

You know to send her flowers on Valentine's Day and her birthday.  But have you considered sending flowers to her at work for no reason at all?

The romance of Valentine 's Day isn't about the food or flowers.  It's the feeling of being loved enough to be fussed over and cherished.  It's the sharing of a loving experience.  When you pick out a gift, you are sharing something with someone.

But you don't have to wait for February 14 to roll around to share these feelings.  You can make any day Valentines Day – and because it is not a "prescribed" holiday, you'll get more brownie points for doing it.

Why flowers?

Flowers remind us of Mother Nature at her most lovely.  Women are happy receiving most any kind of flower.  Men tend to be more choosy about the flowers they appreciate receiving.  Women, consider sending your man an amaryllis, chrysanthemums, are even a plant.  If you are sending them to his office, forget the teddy bears, kissy faces or cherubs.  Don't put him in the position of getting teased unmercifully at his place of work.

But men can send just about anything to a woman at work.  Women get completely ga-ga about almost anything and if guys knew the real impact of flowers, they would keep a florist on retainer.

Don't send the same flowers all the time either.  While roses are romantic, you don't want to get into a rut.

Also, don't reserve flowers for birthdays, fights, or special events.  Flowers for everyday are a powerful way to mix up a relationship.

Ps. If You Need Your Ex Back Then You Will Need This >>>>

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If She's With Another Man

Break ups happen every day, so this situation happens every day, several times a day, where just after breaking up you discover your ex girlfriend has already found another man and you want to get her back.  If this is happening to you don't get discouraged! One thing you can be pretty sure about is that this new girl is simply the rebound. If you still want to get your ex girlfriend back you need to do specific steps to position yourself to not only allow it to happen, but to make it happen. This can take a lot of time and a lot of patience on your part, but if you love her like crazy and can't imagine being apart then you'll stick to these things so that you can win her back.

Let Her Rebound

Allowing this to happen is one of the toughest things you're going to be doing, but you have to let it happen. At the beginning their new relationship is going to be rainbows, sweeping epic music, and fairy tales so nothing you can say or do during this time will help you out. She will not want to leave her new beau even if you have the best reasons in the world during this honeymoon-type part of the relationship. The more you say the harder it's going to be for you to get her back if you interfere right now. You need to suck it up and let this phase reach its end.

Accept Her New Relationship

Remember that she is watching you as closely as you are watching her, so your response to her new relationship is very important. You need to accept that she is in a new one and if you feel any signs of jealousy you are able to hold your tongue and hold back any other actions you might do that could hurt your chances later. Think about what is going through her head right now. Your ex girlfriendwants to feel vindicated in her decision of  this new man over you and for you to feel miserable from it, and is not intentionally trying to be cruel to you in doing so, despite how this may look. If you break now you are feeding an ego of hers that needs to be fed by your reaction to this new person in her life.

What you should do in this situation is wish them well and let her know that you accept this new relationship. She is going for the reactions written above, she wants you to be jealous and miserable, so withhold that from her, however you are feeling inside. Your ex will be amazed that this is what they got instead. You could make her confused and panic because this is not what she was expecting. Your ex girlfriend wanted you to fight for her in some way or form, but you've turned the tables on her by not falling into this trap.

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Keep Your Words Sweet On The New Boyfriend

If you talk badly about her new boyfriend you may only assure to your ex girlfriend that she made the right decision in breaking up. You've really got to keep quiet or say nice things here no matter how much you think he is bad for her, or that he will never make her happy, any and all of that needs to be held in. It's not easy to do but it's necessary. Why are you going through all this trouble? You haven't done a lot of speaking lately, but that's because what you might say could seriously hurt your chances of getting her back. The next step is that you want to ask your ex to be friends again so staying silent will work out for you over speaking your mind. Your ex girlfriend is not going to trust you again if you keep talking badly about her boyfriend and her decisions. She's never going to confide in you if she doesn't think she can trust you. Remain neutral. Give her someone she can talk to.

Withdraw From The Situation

By now you've spent a lot of time studying your ex girlfriend's relationship with this new guy and can see chinks in the armor. You know her a lot better than he does too. You want to use these new found weaknesses to pry the new man away from ex girlfriend. The entire process and mindset togetting back your ex girlfriend is that you want to become friends with her, reestablish trust, and then slowly withdraw yourself from her life as she is starting to depend on you. She will now be face with the decision of you being gone from her life as she needs you the most. You will have her coming to you. Your end game is to make her make a choice between this new man in her life or you. Remember all the times you've had together and what you can offer that he can't. You are the safer, more comfortable, and smarter choice. There is a long history together between the two of you and that is worth having and worth saving.

If your ex girlfriend is with another man you can see that it is not a hopeless situation. You can still pry her away from her new man if you doing the steps correctly. Follow these steps carefully and you'll have your ex girlfriend back in your arms.
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Never give up if you are shure you love her! Follow this steps to the hapiness you deserve now!