Article 2 In the Series of "The Nuts and Bolts Of Good Communication"

There are times when you are not clear about what your partner wants. In these cases, you can not reflect back on what he or she has said. But, you can still use reflective listening techniques.

There are four main sentence structures for when you don't know what your partner is saying.

The first one is “Are you saying that...” This makes it clear that you don't understand and you need clarification. Make sure this is done with the right tone. If it comes across as accusatory, your partner may shut down rather than give you the information you need.

The next one is “Do you mean that...” This is very similar but instead of looking at what the person is saying, you are digging deeper into their actual aims.

We Are Getting Back Together

Then, you can dig deeper into your partner's words by repeating back the last few words he or she spoke to you. For instance, if your partner says “I feel angry when you do not clean up the mess you made,” you can say “When I don't clean up the mess I made?” By phrasing it as a question, you elicit further communication.

Finally, you can use the first three sentence structures in combination. Here's an example: “I understand that you are feeling ___. But are you also saying ___? So, you might say “I understand that you are feeling overwhelmed. But are you also feeling under appreciated?

Here's the point: when you use reflective listening, your partner feels that he or she has been heard, that their message has been understood, and that you value them. They will realize that you are showing them respect and that you are making a good faith effort in the relationship. Generally, they will leave the conversation feeling positive both toward you and toward the conversation itself. This is true even if you disagree about the issue.

The conversation moves forward as well. Your partner is encouraged to continue the dialogue because you haven't challenged them on core principles.

Finally, you have avoided power struggles. These are the unproductive shouting matches that make both sides feel that they have to stake out their positions and are loathe to move because that would be “giving in.” Power struggles are often marked by shouting matches. The parties use unproductive aggressive words and phrases such as “Yes I did” and “No I didn't.” The power struggle quickly becomes about who was right and who was wrong rather than focusing on a solution to a problem. The goal becomes to win the argument not to come to a resolution on the issue.

pS. Advice, guiding, tips and fast ways to get you and your ex back on track again is available here with a
Free review and Video from the best online resource The Magic Of Making Up.

5th Article In The Series Of Articles on "Sparks Of Love"

It's Important To Find a Partner in the Traditional Way

The traditional way to find a partner is to meet at a single's bar, go on blind dates, or meet someone at a place where you have a common interest like church or a social club.

While many people have had success these ways, non-traditional dating can, in some ways, be even more successful for you.

For instance, how serious are the people at a single's bar going to be about a long term relationship? They tend to be in it for a one night stand. You can go on endless blind dates before you find someone who even rates a second date. And, there may not be enough people involved in the activities you hold dear to date.

But fortunately, the 21st century has brought about large changes in the way people date.

The biggest change, of course, is the rise of internet dating. Now you can meet hundreds of singles in your area safely in your own home. You can exchange emails and photos to see whether there is any interest before you spend the time and money on a date. You can also get to know someone on a personal level before physical attraction becomes the primary issue.

Don't be ashamed to go about meeting people in a non-traditional way. It is the 21st Century After all!

We Are Getting Back Together

I Shouldn't Have to "Settle"

The idea that "I deserve the Best" means that you are never going to find a partner. Nobody is perfect. It doesn't mean that you are "settling" to accept that someone you love has flaws.

This kind of thinking also tends to come from people who have inflated egos. They have a unsubstantiated sense of self worth and don't want anyone who is not as "good" as they are.

Don't look at people as having to be "better" or "worse" than you. Look at them as individuals with potential.

If you are thinking you shouldn't have to "settle" you probably have an ideal partner in mind. Guess what? That person doesn't exist!

If you have this mentality, it's time for a reality check. Personal therapy wouldn't hurt either.

I Want One Person to Have Everything

This is a similar (yet less severe) form of thinking you shouldn't have to settle. You have created an ideal man or woman who can meet all of your needs.

But the truth is that you are a complex person. You may need someone to play poker with, someone to pray with, someone to raise kids with, and someone to have sex with. Three out of four ain't bad.

Your partner is a mere mortal. They have limits. They also have other interests.

Fill your life with a variety of people not just a boyfriend / girlfriend or spouse. You should have friends and family who you can do the things with that don't interest your partner.

Keep in mind that there are some needs that only a partner can help you meet. For your other needs, if your partner meets them that's great, but you can "outsource" them to other people!

Ps. Remember your twin soul is waiting out there and if you need to lighten up your existing relation watch
this 00
   

We Are Getting Back Together: How To Keep Your Love Fresh and Alive

Max and Mindy had been going out for six months.  They had fallen into a rut.  Friday nights meant pizza and a video after work.  Saturdays usually involved a bar.  And Sunday mornings, Max would go out for bagels and they'd have a continental breakfast in bed.

Things were getting too routine and Mindy was beginning to get restless.  Max was determined to shake things up because he sensed he would lose Mindy if he didn't.

This article is all about how to shake things up.  It’s about keeping your love fresh and alive.

Introduction

Being romantic when you just start dating is easy.  But, how can you keep the fun, energy, interest and romance alive on an ongoing basis?

A relationship is like a budding plant complete with aluminum foil and a big bow.  You can't put the plant in a window and ignore it.  If you do, it will die.  It needs pruning, watering, and nurturing to thrive.  Your relationship needs the same care, consideration and knowledge.  This article will give you some tips on how to do that.

We Are Getting Back Together

Send Flowers for No Reason

The receptionist at Laurie's office buzzed her excitedly.  "Laurie, you've got the biggest bouquet out here.  Come and get it."

Laurie was excited but confused.  It wasn't her birthday.  She and Gregg hadn't had a big fight.  What were the flowers for?

She went to pick them up and as she walked down the hall with them, people (mostly the women) admired them.

All day, people popped in the cubicle and complimented her on her beautiful arrangement.  And, they asked about how her relationship was going.

Over and over, she told people about her wonderful boyfriend Gregg.  And, on each telling of the story, she felt a little bit better about her relationship.

Gregg got a lot of mileage out of a bouquet out of the blue.

You know to send her flowers on Valentine's Day and her birthday.  But have you considered sending flowers to her at work for no reason at all?

The romance of Valentine 's Day isn't about the food or flowers.  It's the feeling of being loved enough to be fussed over and cherished.  It's the sharing of a loving experience.  When you pick out a gift, you are sharing something with someone.

But you don't have to wait for February 14 to roll around to share these feelings.  You can make any day Valentines Day – and because it is not a "prescribed" holiday, you'll get more brownie points for doing it.

Why flowers?

Flowers remind us of Mother Nature at her most lovely.  Women are happy receiving most any kind of flower.  Men tend to be more choosy about the flowers they appreciate receiving.  Women, consider sending your man an amaryllis, chrysanthemums, are even a plant.  If you are sending them to his office, forget the teddy bears, kissy faces or cherubs.  Don't put him in the position of getting teased unmercifully at his place of work.

But men can send just about anything to a woman at work.  Women get completely ga-ga about almost anything and if guys knew the real impact of flowers, they would keep a florist on retainer.

Don't send the same flowers all the time either.  While roses are romantic, you don't want to get into a rut.

Also, don't reserve flowers for birthdays, fights, or special events.  Flowers for everyday are a powerful way to mix up a relationship.

Ps. If You Need Your Ex Back Then You Will Need This >>>>

We Are Getting Back Together:How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back In 5 Proven Steps

Dealing with a break up is not easy and is something no one really sets out to go through. If you feel that your ex boyfriend was the love of your life then suddenly no longer having him in your life can be very difficult to live with. It is normal to want them back in your lives. If you still have feeling for your ex boyfriend then wanting to get him back is something you've been putting a lot of thought into.

The first step you need to do is put the past in the past. Whatever event caused the break up cannot be changed. What you can do is change who you are now, in this moment, to assure that when your ex boyfriend is back in your arms that what caused it the first time doesn't happen again. Whatever it was that caused the break you need to fix that. He will not want to get back together with you if the same problems are still there. If he does all that is going to happen is that you'll break up again, for the same reason, and you'll be right where you are now just a bit further into the future.

After that you need to give your ex some space. Stop calling him and  texting him. Limit this contact as much as you can. You're only going to bring up bad feelings for the first few weeks if you keep trying to make this contact happen. You both need some time and space to think. As much as it hurts to hear it that is exactly what this time is for. It can take time to find the underlying cause of the break up and also a lot of time for your own emotions to cool down a bit. Your ex will need this space for the same reason. He is probably feeling as hurt and emotional as you are right now and may be doing his best to say things he knows will hurt you if the time is not ready for communication. You are doing each other a favor by being apart in this time.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back In 5 Proven Steps

While this is going on work on yourself. Self improvement goes a long way in getting your ex boyfriend back. He doesn't want you to tell him that you've changed he wants to see it. You probably have lost some sight of yourself in the relationship, which is common, all you need to do is get in touch with who you are again. There are probably some interests and passions you have that may have  taken a back seat while you were with him. Whether it was bike riding, hiking, reading, or music you need to take some time and do these  things again. Pick up an all new hobby if you want. In addition to finding out more about yourself and why he loved this you so much in the first place you'll also give yourself exciting things to talk about and things you've done since break up. If he broke up with you because he got bored and conversation got stale then you'll now have more than enough to talk about and you'll be interesting and exciting to him again.

After about a month apart, where you've had time to explore yourself and think about the relationship the time for contacting your ex will finally come. He may contact you first depending on the situation so don't feel the need to grab the phone just yet. These first few calls, especially the first one, need to be brief, polite, and short. All talk of the relationship is considered off the table. What this call is actually a check in call. You both are probably curious how the other is doing. Your ex will be feeling you out to see how safe it is to continue the contacts. Use small talk and try not to talk longer than 15 minutes. On the first call especially it needs to be short. Eventually you will move onto a bigger step.

Whether your or your ex boyfriend suggest it there is going to be a meeting where you see him face-to-face, in person, with no ability to hide behind a hang up or a stop to texting. This can be very intimidating, but realize it is intimidating for both of you. As with all first meetings keep the relationship talk to zero or extremely limited. You may need to go so far as to plan what you intend to say and know ahead of time how you are going to answer any questions. If the first meeting goes well there will probably be more. Eventually the awkwardness will go away and the familiar feeling of comfort will return. You don't want to rush this process. As relationship issues come up, and  they will after awhile, you can finally use this time to talk calmly to your ex about it and what can be done to fix it, and how you have changed to already make sure it won't happen again. Be ready to compromise. Relationships are about two people and one getting the better half of a deal. Both of you need to decide on certain things and find an understanding. You may find yourselves back together through the natural process of these meetings, but if you don't or haven't maybe you just need to ask. They've now come a long way with you and are comfortable enough to talk to you this way, don't be afraid to take the next step.

Outlined here are five logical and progressing steps you can take to get your ex boyfriend back. As every relationship is different the devil is in the details. Only you know your ex, and you know him better than anyone of us do. Look for the signs and sense when it is time to move to the next step along the way. You'll have your ex boyfriend back in your arms before you know it.
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
This is the best product on the market for people trying to save their relationship. 

We Are Getting Back Together:How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Without Losing Your Self Respect

Trying to figure out how to get your ex boyfriend back without becoming “that crazy chick?” Don’t worry, it can be done, but you need to be careful about whose advice you follow. The problem is a lot of women collect every trick in the book and then use them all at once. Can you say, “bunny boiler?”
To help you keep your guy and your self respect in the process, here are some no-stress, no-drama tips on how to get your ex boyfriend back.

Take time out!

Take some time out Whatever you do, don’t act on the emotions you have right after the breakup. Maybe you feel like showing up at his house with a batch of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and pouring your heart out about everything you did wrong. Once you’ve had a few days to gain some perspective, though, you’ll see why that’s a bad idea.

Don’t even so much as IM your ex until you at least feel like you can live without him. When you talk to your guy again, you need to come across as fun and attractive—or at least emotionally stable—or you risk scaring him for good. Think over why you broke up. Let’s face it, when we get used to a guy, we can all become a little demanding, nagging, and overly emotional. Take a long hard look at how you’ve changed since you first met each other and take steps to show your ex you won’t be like that again.
This is another reason most tips on how to get your ex boyfriend back will tell you to rein in your emotions and be more like the fun, confident woman you were when he first met you.

Stay attractive!

You may not know this exactly, but if you have some idea of what it was about you your guy found attractive, play up that trait a little (assuming you enjoy it, too). Maybe you loved to go hiking together or he admired your passion for politics. Whatever it was, get involved with it again and make sure your mutual friends know.

One thing you don’t want to do, though, is start dating again. Your ex might presume you’re no longer interested in him and not even try to make contact even if he does start missing you.

Get good advice!

As you’ve probably noticed, just about everyone has an opinion to give you on how to get your ex boyfriend back. While some of your friends might come up with pretty practical advice, you never know which tip might backfire on you. To keep things simple, look for proven advice from those experienced in mending relationships, such as marriage counselors.

The main thing to keep in mind when you’re trying to decide how to get your ex boyfriend back is to stay calm and not grab at every piece of advice you come across. As long as your ex sees that you really are still the person he used to love; following a proven plan from a professional relationship counselor can bring your guy back faster than you might think.
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
Heres the Secret from the man that has helped over 50 000 people to make up instead of break up!