We Are Getting Back Together: How To Keep Your Love Fresh and Alive

Max and Mindy had been going out for six months.  They had fallen into a rut.  Friday nights meant pizza and a video after work.  Saturdays usually involved a bar.  And Sunday mornings, Max would go out for bagels and they'd have a continental breakfast in bed.

Things were getting too routine and Mindy was beginning to get restless.  Max was determined to shake things up because he sensed he would lose Mindy if he didn't.

This article is all about how to shake things up.  It’s about keeping your love fresh and alive.

Introduction

Being romantic when you just start dating is easy.  But, how can you keep the fun, energy, interest and romance alive on an ongoing basis?

A relationship is like a budding plant complete with aluminum foil and a big bow.  You can't put the plant in a window and ignore it.  If you do, it will die.  It needs pruning, watering, and nurturing to thrive.  Your relationship needs the same care, consideration and knowledge.  This article will give you some tips on how to do that.

We Are Getting Back Together

Send Flowers for No Reason

The receptionist at Laurie's office buzzed her excitedly.  "Laurie, you've got the biggest bouquet out here.  Come and get it."

Laurie was excited but confused.  It wasn't her birthday.  She and Gregg hadn't had a big fight.  What were the flowers for?

She went to pick them up and as she walked down the hall with them, people (mostly the women) admired them.

All day, people popped in the cubicle and complimented her on her beautiful arrangement.  And, they asked about how her relationship was going.

Over and over, she told people about her wonderful boyfriend Gregg.  And, on each telling of the story, she felt a little bit better about her relationship.

Gregg got a lot of mileage out of a bouquet out of the blue.

You know to send her flowers on Valentine's Day and her birthday.  But have you considered sending flowers to her at work for no reason at all?

The romance of Valentine 's Day isn't about the food or flowers.  It's the feeling of being loved enough to be fussed over and cherished.  It's the sharing of a loving experience.  When you pick out a gift, you are sharing something with someone.

But you don't have to wait for February 14 to roll around to share these feelings.  You can make any day Valentines Day – and because it is not a "prescribed" holiday, you'll get more brownie points for doing it.

Why flowers?

Flowers remind us of Mother Nature at her most lovely.  Women are happy receiving most any kind of flower.  Men tend to be more choosy about the flowers they appreciate receiving.  Women, consider sending your man an amaryllis, chrysanthemums, are even a plant.  If you are sending them to his office, forget the teddy bears, kissy faces or cherubs.  Don't put him in the position of getting teased unmercifully at his place of work.

But men can send just about anything to a woman at work.  Women get completely ga-ga about almost anything and if guys knew the real impact of flowers, they would keep a florist on retainer.

Don't send the same flowers all the time either.  While roses are romantic, you don't want to get into a rut.

Also, don't reserve flowers for birthdays, fights, or special events.  Flowers for everyday are a powerful way to mix up a relationship.

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How to Convert a Girlfriend to a "Friend With Benefits"

This article is going to be very direct and to the point about continuing a sexual relationship with the girlfriend you have broken up with.

Some guys have a girlfriend with whom they are sexually compatible with, but who, for some reason or other, does not make good girlfriend material. If this is the case, can you convert a girlfriend to "friends with benefits" or " a sex buddy" status?

Generally "friends with benefits" means that you will hang out together sometimes, particularly in groups, and that you will sleep together, but that you will have an understanding that it is not a romantic relationship and that it is not leading to something bigger.

A "sex buddy” is someone with whom you sleep with occasionally but do not ever socialize with outside the bedroom.

How to Convert a Girlfriend to a "Friend With Benefits"

If you are going to turn your girlfriend into someone with whom you continue to sleep with, you should not have the "break up conversation" right away. Instead, start to distance yourself from her first. Stop going out with her as often, return her phone calls more sporadically, and stop being there emotionally for her.

Once you have "the talk" do some specific things to let her know that the romantic portion of the relationship is over. For instance, never have sex in your bed again. Either go to her place and not spend the night or have sex on the couch at your place.

Don't do "boyfriend" things any longer. For instance, you don't buy your sex buddy a dozen roses for Valentine's day. And, you wouldn't spend more money on a Christmas present for a "friend with benefits" than you would on any other friend. You also shouldn't lend her money as this complicates the relationship.

Don't see her more than once a week or so. You should be dating other girls and not have time for more than a once a week encounter.

Don't let her introduce you as her boyfriend. You don't want to let her think of you this way, even if it does smooth the waters at times.

Finally, you should try to avoid getting involved with her family and the circle of friends that is "hers" (as opposed to your mutual friends.) Again, you are not her boyfriend. She is not entitled to have you as a boyfriend substitute even if you are sleeping with her.

Conclusion

Yes, breaking up is hard to do. And, if you care about your girlfriend and don't want to break her heart, you have to approach it right. Just remember these three things:

1. No matter what you do to mitigate it, if there was ever love in the relationship, it will hurt both of you to break up. This hurt is part of life.

2. There is never a perfect time or perfect place to break up. Keep her feelings and life circumstances in mind when you choose to break up, but know that it's never going to be "just right."

3. If the relationship isn't working, you are doing both you and her a favor by allowing you to move on and find people with whom you can build a real life. Even if you love your girlfriend, you have to set her free to find her true love. And, you have to be free to find yours.
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