One of the first things you need to do is stop feeling sorry for yourself and moping around. You need to turn your mind around before you can get focused enough to make those changes with your ex boyfriend that you want. Toughen up! It's time to stop crying and do something positive that will help you. Sitting at home constantly feeling lonely, bitter, and devastated isn't going to make him come back.
You need to rediscover who you are. You've spent a long time with your ex boyfriend and may have lost sight of you; so this needs to be remedied. It can be a bit scary since you feel so much of you is attached to him, but you need to remember who you are without him. You can go about this a lot different ways so use what's best for you.
Give your girlfriends a call and hang out with them. Maybe there's a hobby you've been neglecting or forgotten since you got into the relationship. What was something that you loved to do that got you excited every time you thought about it? Rediscover these things about yourself.
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You will accomplish several things in this pursuit. Your confidence will grow, you'll feel more alive expressing yourself and doing the things you used to do. Your ex boyfriend will be able to see the confidence in you as well. It's easy for someone to look at you and see that you're happy and getting fulfillment when you're doing those sort of tasks. He will feel it too.
The next step is to bury the hatchet of the past. When you make the decision to let it go you need to be serious about it and let it go. The past is over and happened. You can only live in the now. And in the now you need to examine yourself and any mistakes you made in the relationship.
You do not have the power to change your ex but you can change yourself. You may discover that you were too clingy, so work to become the opposite, more independent. The ideal way to make these changes is to leave your ex alone for awhile. Limited to no contact.
During this time you may bring things up within you that you aren't ready to work through yet. This is not wasted time because it will give your ex time to miss you being around. Through this time apart the communication between the two of you will be that much better when it happens.
After this period of self discovery it's o.k. to let your ex know that you still think about him every once in a while. You could be doing something the two of you used to do. Tell him that you think of him whenever you do this. It will go a long way.
Remembering the good times is a great technique to use too for the same reason. You are getting at his sentimental side and how great things used to be. The times you've shared together are something completely unique to the two of you. So understand that the good times are important to you to get him back, because no one else will have that experience in the way you two shared it.
When you reach this vital point in the process, realize that there is nothing wrong with telling your ex that you miss him. There is a good probability that he misses you too. Do your best to not come off as desperate since that will only hurt what you've worked so hard to earn back.
Confidence in yourself and that you can win your ex boyfriend back and a well planned strategy will put you in the best position possible to win him back. There is a right time for all the moves outlined, so make sure you have a complete understanding of each step, before moving to each subsequent step to wining your ex boyfriend back.
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