We Are Getting Back Together:Article 4 Finding Someone Special To Spend Your Life With

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Method 3 - Laser Targeted Dating

Laser Targeted Dating is dating for keeps. This describes Lydda's situation in the first article. She wants to cut to the chase and find a partner to settle down with. The methods described in this section are the most efficient way to find a long term relationship leading to marriage.

Going up to someone in a bar and asking them about their relationship goal is not really appropriate (or, quite frankly, productive). Even if she's been dating someone for a few weeks, Lydda would be wise not to ask about marriage plans. But there are methods that allow her to restrict the people she meets to a certain relationship goal and exchange relationship goal information with dates prior to meeting. This will allow her to skip over anyone who is incompatible with her goals before they get involved.

Personal Ad

One of the things she can do is take out a personal ad. Rather than answering other's ads, it is best for her to take out her own. Look at the ads published by others to get an idea about what works. She should also check out several publications or online sites so that she ensures that the kind of person she's looking for is also the kind of person who is advertising.

The first thing she should do is set up a special email address, phone number, or P.O. Boxes to receive responses. That way, she won't mind dumping the account if someone she does not like begins to bother her.

In her ad, she should describe her personality, describe a couple favorite activities, and state her relationship goal. She might also briefly describe the man she is looking for, depending on space limits. Her ad needs to stand out from the crowd. You can use humor or poignancy to achieve this.

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She should get a single, platonic guy pal to look at the ad and make suggestions so that she can see how a man responds to it.

When Lydda gets a response, she should chat on the phone or online for a while. She needs to get a sense of the guy before she meets him in person. She should refrain from giving any identifying data including last name, address, or work place right away. Once she gives a guy this information, she can't take it back.

If she does want to give him a phone number at some point, she might consider buying a prepaid cell phone just for this purpose. That way, if he becomes a pest – or worse – she can just dump the phone.

Once Lydda has found someone she wants to go out with, she should always meet for the first time in a public place during the day. She should plan to keep the first meeting short (coffee is a good idea) and she should drive herself to and from the date. She should tell a friend where she'll be and giver her the date's name, address and phone number.

Personal ads are more accepted now than they once were. They're inexpensive and work well for people with more time than money. In fact, Craigslist offers a whole section on personals for free.

If Lydda places the ad herself, she is going to have to do all of the sorting and screening of responders herself which can be time consuming. If she decides to be a responder instead, she is going to write many replies that never get an answer back.

Article 5 in this series of articles on "Finding Someone Special To Spend Your Life With"  will focus on other methods of how to do Laser Targeted Dating. I highly recommend this top notch site for more professional relation advices.

We Are Getting Back Together:Article 3 Finding Someone Special To Spend Your Life With

Method 2 - Efficient Dating

Cynthia really wants to settle down again. She feels lost without being part of a couple. But the smart thing for her to do right now is to date around and get a feel for adult dating. Here are some ways she can meet some eligible men without having to commit to marriage again right away.

One of the best things she could do is ask friends and family to hook her up with eligible men. The people who know her and care about her are going to look after her interests when they make an introduction.

While a “blind date” can be a scary thought, it's actually safer than meeting people in most other ways. There's always a human connection so the odds of her date being a mad rapist is extremely low.

Cynthia should thank the friend who set the date up no matter what the outcome is. That will keep whatever supply there is flowing. She should remember though that her friends have a limited supply of friends! At some point she's going to run out of date referrals and need to move on to other methods.

In many communities, there are a good number of singles-specific events. These include dances, parties, dinners, progressive dinners, volleyball games, softball leagues, and outdoor activities. The good thing about singles-specific events is that you know everyone there is single and are looking, if only casually, for a date.

Larger cities tend to have more formal arrangements for single's dating. But you can still find opportunities to mix and mingle in cities and towns of all sizes.

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Many of these single's specific activities are orchestrated by professional companies that do nothing but event planning for the single set. There are a number of targeted dating services as well. If you want to date someone within your own religion, date other people who have children, or meet someone with specific interests (baseball or science fiction), there's an event out there for you.

The downside to these events is that anyone can come. The groups organizing the events don't conduct background checks and sometimes married people come to scope out the market. Smaller more personal events tend to attract the more serious daters.

Cynthia should have a genuine interest in the events she attends. Otherwise she could end up meeting a man at a Super Bowl Fanatics party and later end up a football widow. If she goes to a dance and hates dancing, she may meet someone she really likes and then disappoint him by telling him she doesn't want to go dancing ever again.

A new phenomenon in Singles Specific events is Speed Dating. These events generally cost $20 to $50 and range in size from 7 people of each gender to 50 people of each gender. The sponsors try to have the same number of people from both genders.

In a typical scenario, there will be 10 men and 10 women. The women will sit at tables while the men will rotate through all 10 tables. They will have 7 minute “dates” where they can find out whether there is any interest. At the end of the evening, they fill out a card stating who they would like to see again. Where there is a “match” - that is both parties have indicated interest – the contact information will be forwarded to both parties.

Cynthia will meet several potential dates in one evening and have time to actually talk to each one. Direct questions are permissible and even encouraged. She can ask questions about employment, money, dating objectives and the like. This can save her gobs of time which would have been wasted going out on each of these dates on successive nights.

There's no guarantee that she'll meet anyone she feels attracted to. The more “specialized” the group, the better her chances are. So, she might want to attend a Catholic Speed Dating Night or a “40 Somethings” Speed Dating Night to increase her chances of compatibility.

Another thing Cynthia should consider is to log on to an internet chat room. When she's feeling lonely, she can go online and chat with someone who is also looking for some online companionship.

She should be aware that she can't always trust what people say about themselves online. If she's intending to meet the person in the “real” world, she should make sure that it is at a very public place and that she has her own means of transportation.
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We Are Getting Back Together:Article 2 Finding Someone Special To Spend Your Life With

Casual Dating

Jerome, in our example from the introduction, is looking for something to do, but is not looking to get married in the near future. While it is possible he'll meet his soul mate this summer, the likelihood is that he'll go away in the fall and forget about the girls he went out with. Instead, he's looking for friends and dating around.

There are lots of ways for him to meet other teen agers. He can go to fairs, festivals, ethnic celebrations, harvestfests, Octoberfests (okay, I know I said it was summer, but you get the idea), concerts, sing-alongs, sporting events, flea markets, stamp shows, Civil War reenactments, zoos, and amusement parks. Basically, if he indulges his special interests, he'll meet others who share the interests.

These events will allow him to see his community and regional area while making friends who share his interest.

The crowds tend to be mixed in age and marital status so it can be difficult to differentiate who is attached from those unattached. Large crowds tend to include people who have brought dates or friends, so it can be hard to break into a closed circle. The shear volume of people and noise level can also make meeting people more difficult.

Jerome's best bet is to bring a buddy to these events so that he has a better chance of running into people who are there doing the same thing. He'll probably meet more people if he goes with a friend than if he goes by himself.

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If Jerome doesn't know any activities that are going on beyond the world of his high school, he can contact his local chamber of commerce, read the calendar or weekend editions of local newspapers, and check bulletin boards and online sites for special event schedules.

Another place for Jerome to look is at church events. That doesn't mean he has to go to the 9 a.m. Sunday service either. Most churches hold activities open to the public including mainstays such as potluck dinners and carnivals but also including special events or dances for singles of all religions.

People at church events tend to be positive, warm hearted and emotionally supportive.

Jerome might look around for a "just for fun" class. He'll be taking a full academic load majoring in Engineering in the fall, so now is the time to do something fun like taking a cooking class or joining a hiking group.

These kinds of things can expand his mind, help him get in shape, and make him a more interesting person.

To find these kind of classes, look at universities and colleges, community centers, park districts, YMCAs, museums, churches, and all kinds of clubs.

Article 3 in this series of articles on Finding Someone Special To Spend Your Life With will focus on Method 2 - Efficient Dating .
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5 Dating Etiquette Tips For A Comfortable Date

1. Be Yourself:

When you go on a date there are certain things and ways you should behave. Of course you want the person to get to know you so you shouldn't try and be someone that you are not. This is extremely important and should be your number one priority.

Simply ask yourself this question, "Do I really want to start this date off with a lie or being someone I'm not?" Always remember either situation can come back to bite you later. Especially if you find out this is someone you would really like to have a meaningful relationship with.

2. Personal Appearance:

When you go out on a date you should look and dress nice. Make an effort to dress appropriately for the type of date you're going on. This will show the other person you care about your appearance but you also care about what they think about you. If you don't care about what the
other person thinks then you probably shouldn't be going out on a date with them in the first place.

3. Prior To The Date:

Depending on the person you are taking out you should also remember to open the car doors and all doors for your date.

If the woman you are going out with is a feminist, then let her open the doors and do things for herself or it will bother her. She also will want to pay for her own meal.

If you are not going on a date with an independent woman who is a feminist then you should open the doors, be on time when you pick her up, and be prepared to pay for the entire date.

4. Can you afford the date:

As you well know in today's economy many prices have gone up,  in restaurants, places of entertainment and especially night clubs and bars. Don't take your date somewhere you cannot afford and never find yourself asking your date for money to cover the bill. This may well put you into the most embarrassing spot you have ever been. Think about this? What if your date only had a few dollars for an emergency?

And suddenly you find yourself and your date explaining to a police officer why you were trying to stiff the restaurant or place of entertainment. In some cities and towns you can be charged with a misdemeanor or even higher. To avoid this situation simply take a few minutes to call the places where you are planning on taking your date.

5. Asking Your Date Questions:

Dating etiquette also includes not making the other person feel as if they are on an interview. It is common for people on a date to ask many questions as they just want to get to know the other person.
However, don't make them feel as if they are on an interview or you might scare them off. Be sure to create a comfortable atmosphere.

In conclusion dating etiquette can make the difference if the date is a fun and exciting date or a complete dud. The majority of the time you won't  have to think about it, as you will just do it naturally.
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Relationship Advice For Men Who Want To Keep Their Girlfriends

Okay, so your girlfriend probably won’t walk out on you because you left your socks on the floor, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still a few critical factors that, if ignored, could have her heading for the door.

Even if you think you know what makes your girlfriend tick, you may be surprised at some of the things you’ve been overlooking.

Express your love

I know what you’re thinking: “But I do show my love! I bought her a…” Stop right there. 

Unfortunately, material gifts and even the amount of time and energy you spend helping go right over some women’s heads. Many women don’t truly feel loved unless they hear the “I love you” fairly frequently.

No, your girlfriend hasn’t forgotten all the nice things you’ve done; she just thinks maybe your feelings have changed since then. Yeah, that’s right: since yesterday. See, the thing is women continually re-assess their relationships. Men tend to get comfortable and assume if there are no fights, then everything’s dandy. That’s exactly how so many guys get blindsided by break ups introduced with “Honey, we need to talk.”

So go ahead and tell her in so many words that you love her. If you have a hard time saying it, write a little note and slip it in her wallet or stick it on the bathroom mirror.  If that’s still a little to awkward for you, make a point of thanking her for something routine like making dinner or acknowledging something she’s done well.

Listen

Imagine starting an important conversation with your girlfriend or wife only to notice her staring into space as you talk. Wouldn’t you feel a little rejected? This is the same situation a lot of women face with their boyfriends or husbands, who often don’t even notice they’re spacing out. When you’re girlfriend talks, try to put aside what your doing and really listen.

That doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to have some quiet time to yourself, though. Whether you’re trying to finish a report for work the next day or just want to watch the game, if you gently explain that you’d rather have the chat at a later time, a real lady will give you your space.

Use honesty wisely

As much as we may want to believe honesty is the best policy, anyone with a little life experience will tell you it isn’t always. While outright lies are a no-no, a little tact and diplomacy can go a long way towards keeping peace in the house.

What that means is the correct answer to “Do I look fat in this?” is not “No, you look 10 pounds lighter,” but something like “Can’t say. You look good to me no matter what you wear.” Sound corny? Try it sometime and I bet you’ll like the result.

Being tactful doesn’t mean you should keep quite about things that really bother you, though. It’s better to bring problems to light in than let your resentment simmer and risk blowing up at her one day.

When both partners are willing have a little patience and keep an open mind, love relationships don’t have to been filled with frustration and drama. Get some good relationship advice from men from the right source and your relationships should be smooth sailing from here on out.



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Discover The Difference Between Marriage Dating And Fun Dating

Marriage dating is serious business. The people involved are looking for Mr. and Mrs. Right and are on a quest to tie the knot. Have you ever been on dates like that? It can be more like a stressful job interview than a really fun date.

When someone asks you out, you can tell if they’re looking for something long term like marriage, dating to find someone to spend intimate time with, or just dating for fun. The ones that are dating for fun are by far the ones you’ll have a better time with. The ones dating just to sleep with a person can turn out to be users you shouldn’t waste your time with. And the ones looking for marriage put too much pressure on a few simple dates.

If you’re the one looking for marriage, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to get married, of course. But it’s not something you should have in front of your mind when you go on a date. If you ask someone out based on whether or not you might marry them, you’ll probably be disappointed.  And if you only say yes to those who seem like marriage material, you might be missing out on someone really great.

So are we telling you to lower your standards?  If your end goal is marriage, dating can become a boring chore that’s more like screening applicants than the fun time it should be. And few things will put off the person who asked you out more than appearing desperate for a husband or wife when all they want to do is have some fun.

If you are ready for marriage, dating widely can be helpful, though. Don’t limit yourself to just the best looking person or the one you think might make a good mate. If there’s someone you think you’d have a good time with, ask for a date. Even if that person doesn’t seem to be someone you might want to marry.

In the early stages of dating, you don’t know the person well enough to judge what kind of mate they’d make.  Sometimes you don’t even really know this right before you marry someone! So stop pre-judging people and eliminating possibilities too early.  All you’re doing is narrowing down your choices for a fun date on Friday night.

If you open your eyes a little and ask (or say yes to) that person who you’ve overlooked all this time for whatever reason, you might be pleasantly surprised. So what if that person doesn’t seem to be marriage material! You don’t really know them well enough to make those kinds of judgments. Put aside thoughts of marriage for now and let yourself relax and have a good time.

This is not to say you can’t find your soul mate by dating; you can. Many people actually do it that way, especially when they’re not really trying. But if you’re too focused on marriage, dating is no longer the fun, social activity it should be.

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How to Give Compliments and Sound Sincere

The key to giving compliments is sounding sincere so that the recipient of the compliment is truly flattered and appreciative of the compliment.  An insincere compliment does not convey the same message.  If you are giving the compliment for your own personal gain,  your lack of sincerity will result in the person receiving the compliment not really feeling touched by your words.  Sincere compliments are simple, timely and they are not premeditated.  A sincere compliment is also often given in the presence of others. 

When complimenting someone it’s important to keep your compliment simple and specific.  A compliment that is too over the top sounds forced and does not seem sincere.  Instead of gushing about the recipient of the compliment offer a simple compliment on a specific achievement.  The simplicity of the compliment will sound more genuine than if you had gone into great detail in your compliment.  Also offering a compliment on a specific achievement instead of making a generalization shows that your compliment is sincere because you realize the importance of the achievement.  Offering a sincere compliment doesn’t have to be difficult, just keep your words simple and focus on the reason you are giving the compliment. 

Offering your compliment in a timely manner is also important to sounding sincere.  A compliment is most likely to be perceived as being genuine if it is offered relatively soon after the achievement is attained.  For example it would be appropriate to offer a college a compliment on a job well done on a project within a day or two of completion of the project because you see them on a daily basis while not offering the compliment almost immediately may result in it being perceived as insincere.  However if you hear that a former co-worker has just received a promotion it is appropriate to wait until the next time you see them to offer your compliment or you may send them an email within a week or two of hearing the news.  In the first example your daily contact with the other person warrants a compliment be given quickly while in the second example your distance allows you to wait a little longer before offering a compliment without the compliment seeming forced or out of place.

Sincere compliments are spoken from the heart and are not premeditated.  A true compliment is spoken freely and without much thought while rehearsing and planning a compliment appears obligatory and insincere.  While thinking before you speak is generally a good idea, putting too much thought into a compliment can have the effect of not seeming genuine.  When offering a compliment let your emotions speak instead of calculating your words and your compliment will seem sincere.

Additionally a sincere compliment is also either given in writing or offered in front of others.  Doing this places additional validity on the compliment.  A compliment offered in writing or in the presence of witnesses conveys sincerity by virtue of the fact that the person offering the compliment is willing to allow proof of the compliment.  Compliments given verbally with no witnesses may in fact be sincere but offering the compliments in front of others is more effective if you want to appear sincere. 

Finally the most important and also most obvious way to give a compliment and sound sincere is to truly believe in the compliment you are giving.  If you are genuinely impressed with a person or their actions and offer an honest compliment, your sincerity will shine through and the other person will be duly impressed and flattered by your compliment.  It may sound overly simple but resist the temptation to give a compliment that you don’t really mean.  Compliments are also given for reasons other than sincerity such as personal gain and these compliments are rarely seen as sincere.  However, when a compliment is given simply because there is a feeling of admiration for the person receiving the compliment, the sincerity is obvious. 

The art of giving a sincere compliment involves a number of factors.  Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that a sincere compliment stems from a genuine feeling of admiration.  Also offering a compliment without thoughts of personal gain is also imperative to giving a sincere compliment.  While these two factors ensure that your compliment is sincere the next few factors ensure that your compliment is received as being sincere.  Speaking from your heart and not rehearsing a compliment and offering your compliment in a timely manner and preferably in front of others create the appearance of a sincere compliment.
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How to Flirt Effectively

Men and women flirt differently, for different reasons and expect different outcomes to the flirting. However, if you put aside that outcome and flirt just to be friendly you are opening yourself to different opportunities. You may well end up with a new lover but if that doesn’t work out you could meet someone who becomes a good friend and who knows who she might introduce you to. Keep your options open.

After you have exchanged glances and smiles across a room and you are fairly confident that SHE thinks that she might like to get to know you better, send a drink to her. But remember that ALL you are buying is a drink. Don’t expect her to fall at your feet. Sometimes it is nice just to send someone a drink, watch when she receives it and smile, then look away – look back again later to show your interest.

If you find yourself invited to her table, keep you mind on the conversation and not on getting a date with her. Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with long before they actually go out with them. Make an effort to get to know her and give her the opportunity to get to know you before diving in for a date.

Do not ever approach two women in the same group. No woman wants to feel like second best. Refrain from approaching one after another in the same group. You look like a loser and the women may think you are desperate and looking for any port in a storm. Even if you are, don’t show it.

When you compliment a woman make certain that it is a genuine compliment. There’s nothing worse than someone giving out a load of overblown lines. Everyone has something great about them, notice that and compliment them genuinely.

Do not ever put your hands on a woman uninvited. Some women have no objection to ‘touchy feely’ encounters, others are horrified by it. Respect the person until you have had the opportunity to know more about her. Touching can be a lovely flirty action, but should be confined to the arms or resting the hand just above the arms and NOT touching, until you know more. Test the personal space by moving closer, noticing the reactions then moving back a little to remove the threat.

Respect yourself at all times. Women always fall for men who are that little bit unreachable. Don't hover or grovel or act desperate. Think of yourself as special and know what you deserve the very best.
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