Okay, so your girlfriend probably won’t walk out on you because you left your socks on the floor, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still a few critical factors that, if ignored, could have her heading for the door.
Even if you think you know what makes your girlfriend tick, you may be surprised at some of the things you’ve been overlooking.
Express your love
I know what you’re thinking: “But I do show my love! I bought her a…” Stop right there.
Unfortunately, material gifts and even the amount of time and energy you spend helping go right over some women’s heads. Many women don’t truly feel loved unless they hear the “I love you” fairly frequently.
No, your girlfriend hasn’t forgotten all the nice things you’ve done; she just thinks maybe your feelings have changed since then. Yeah, that’s right: since yesterday. See, the thing is women continually re-assess their relationships. Men tend to get comfortable and assume if there are no fights, then everything’s dandy. That’s exactly how so many guys get blindsided by break ups introduced with “Honey, we need to talk.”
So go ahead and tell her in so many words that you love her. If you have a hard time saying it, write a little note and slip it in her wallet or stick it on the bathroom mirror. If that’s still a little to awkward for you, make a point of thanking her for something routine like making dinner or acknowledging something she’s done well.
Listen
Imagine starting an important conversation with your girlfriend or wife only to notice her staring into space as you talk. Wouldn’t you feel a little rejected? This is the same situation a lot of women face with their boyfriends or husbands, who often don’t even notice they’re spacing out. When you’re girlfriend talks, try to put aside what your doing and really listen.
That doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to have some quiet time to yourself, though. Whether you’re trying to finish a report for work the next day or just want to watch the game, if you gently explain that you’d rather have the chat at a later time, a real lady will give you your space.
Use honesty wisely
As much as we may want to believe honesty is the best policy, anyone with a little life experience will tell you it isn’t always. While outright lies are a no-no, a little tact and diplomacy can go a long way towards keeping peace in the house.
What that means is the correct answer to “Do I look fat in this?” is not “No, you look 10 pounds lighter,” but something like “Can’t say. You look good to me no matter what you wear.” Sound corny? Try it sometime and I bet you’ll like the result.
Being tactful doesn’t mean you should keep quite about things that really bother you, though. It’s better to bring problems to light in than let your resentment simmer and risk blowing up at her one day.
When both partners are willing have a little patience and keep an open mind, love relationships don’t have to been filled with frustration and drama. Get some good relationship advice from men from the right source and your relationships should be smooth sailing from here on out.
Ps. Expert Advice Here!
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måndag 18 mars 2013
Relationship Advice For Men Who Want To Keep Their Girlfriends
A Relationship Breakup - You Will Get Over It
After a relationship breakup, everything in the world can seem bleak and depressing. The most important thing to remember is that this is a normal reaction. Anytime anything "bad" happens to us, we go through a period of grieving. A relationship breakup is no exception.
When a relationship ends, you have a loss. There is the loss of a person from your life who you've spent lots of time with. The intimacy you shared with this person now feels gone, and it's common to think you will never have or sometimes even want that with another person. Breaking up can simply feel like the end of the world.
But it's not! You need to put your ex boyfriend or girlfriend in the proper perspective so you can move on. This isn't easy to do, but it’s important that you start trying as soon as possible.
You'll get tons of advice on how to deal with a relationship breakup. You'll hear everything from “burn all your pictures” to “hop back on the horse and find another relationship.” You will know which approach is best for you, no matter what anyone says. Don’t try something that worked for someone else if it doesn't feel right.
Give yourself permission to feel bad at first. Whenever you have a loss you go through the same stages of grief as you do when there’s a death or any type of ending, with the degree of feeling varying from situation to situation.
1. Denial is the first stage of loss after anything difficult like the end of a relationship. This can't be happening!
2. Next, pain and guilt set in after the shock and denial start to fade.
3. Anger comes next, as does something called bargaining. If I do this or don't do that, maybe we can get back together. I'll never look at another man as long as I live, if only . . . .
4. Depression and loneliness set in, once it's clear that bargaining won't change the painful truth.
5. The next step is the lessening of depression when things start to seem a little better.
6. Then comes the hard part of working through it and getting past it.
7. The last stage of grief after a relationship breakup or any loss is acceptance, and hope for a better future.
It can help to try to figure out which stage you're in, and to know that everyone experiences something along these lines. Not everyone will go through every stage and they might not even be in order.
You might never start bargaining, for instance, especially if you know it's really and truly over. But most people's grief process will follow that general pattern. It's important to recognize that there is a final stage, and that stage means you've gotten past it.
Try to put your relationship breakup into perspective with other important things that have happened and will happen in your life, and remember that you'll eventually get to the acceptance stage, too.
Ps. Here are some really good advice on this subject!
When a relationship ends, you have a loss. There is the loss of a person from your life who you've spent lots of time with. The intimacy you shared with this person now feels gone, and it's common to think you will never have or sometimes even want that with another person. Breaking up can simply feel like the end of the world.
But it's not! You need to put your ex boyfriend or girlfriend in the proper perspective so you can move on. This isn't easy to do, but it’s important that you start trying as soon as possible.
You'll get tons of advice on how to deal with a relationship breakup. You'll hear everything from “burn all your pictures” to “hop back on the horse and find another relationship.” You will know which approach is best for you, no matter what anyone says. Don’t try something that worked for someone else if it doesn't feel right.
Give yourself permission to feel bad at first. Whenever you have a loss you go through the same stages of grief as you do when there’s a death or any type of ending, with the degree of feeling varying from situation to situation.
1. Denial is the first stage of loss after anything difficult like the end of a relationship. This can't be happening!
2. Next, pain and guilt set in after the shock and denial start to fade.
3. Anger comes next, as does something called bargaining. If I do this or don't do that, maybe we can get back together. I'll never look at another man as long as I live, if only . . . .
4. Depression and loneliness set in, once it's clear that bargaining won't change the painful truth.
5. The next step is the lessening of depression when things start to seem a little better.
6. Then comes the hard part of working through it and getting past it.
7. The last stage of grief after a relationship breakup or any loss is acceptance, and hope for a better future.
It can help to try to figure out which stage you're in, and to know that everyone experiences something along these lines. Not everyone will go through every stage and they might not even be in order.
You might never start bargaining, for instance, especially if you know it's really and truly over. But most people's grief process will follow that general pattern. It's important to recognize that there is a final stage, and that stage means you've gotten past it.
Try to put your relationship breakup into perspective with other important things that have happened and will happen in your life, and remember that you'll eventually get to the acceptance stage, too.
Ps. Here are some really good advice on this subject!
Managing the Relationship Matrix
In general a matrix is a table of data containing information in both rows and columns. Specifically a relationship matrix could be one that is used to determine your genealogical relationship to another. However in terms of relationships, the relationship matrix often refers to how compatible you and your partner are in respect to certain issues such as communication, interests, and financial and career. While the partners do not have to agree completely in all or any of these areas, finding a balance is critical to a healthy relationship.
Communication is one of the factors in the relationship matrix. Style of communication can vary from speaking based on emotion and without much thought to your words to speaking based on logic and putting much thought into what you plan to say before you begin speaking. On one hand the speaker who relies on emotion, often speaks from their heart and their words usually reflect their feelings at the moment they are speaking.
On the other hand there is a speaker who relies on logic and often spends much time calculating their words before they speak. This speaker rarely reflects their emotions in their words and instead relies on facts to support their argument. While neither style of speaking is right or wrong, conflict may arise in a relationship if the partners are on opposite ends of the spectrum. These problems may arise if the partner who speaks on emotion is frustrated with the lack of emotion and slow speech of the logical speaker and the logical speaker is in turn frustrated by the lack of restraint shown by their partner. The partners can help to manage this part of the relationship matrix by trying to meet somewhere in the middle of the two extremes. The emotional speaker may agree to take some time to step away from their emotions for a few minutes before speaking and the logical speaker may agree to try to speak more freely and without so much restraint in the future.
Interests and hobbies is another aspect of the relationship matrix that can either doom or enhance a relationship. Sharing common interests can be beneficial to a relationship because it fosters closeness and a bond between the partners. They are able to enjoy a common interest or hobby and doing so brings them closer together. If a couple has no common hobbies, this can be detrimental to the relationship because the members of the couple may feel as though their partner is not taking an interest in their activities. While this may sound simple enough, it is important to realize that balancing out this aspect of the relationship matrix is very important. Having too many interests in common can result in one or both of the partners feeling as if they are being smothered while showing no interest in your partner's activities indicates a lack of caring.
Financial and career aspirations are a tricky part of the relationship matrix that can be a source of much strife in a relationship. There are two extremes for approaching finances and career. On one extreme there is the logical and conservative partner while on the other extreme is the emotional and liberal partner. These two extremes can be a recipe for disaster so it is necessary for this couple to find a sense of balance. While one partner may be a risk taker in terms of their finances and career the other prefers a more conservative route. Such extremes often result in the partners becoming frustrated with each other. This frustration stems from the partners both being uncomfortable with the others approach. For example the more liberal partner may be upset that the more conservative partner sticks with an unfulfilling job just because the pay is good while the conservative partner may be frustrated that the liberal partner works at a low pay job just because it is enjoyable. In order to resolve any issues and avoid future conflict, it helps if the partners can come to an agreement that is more to in the middle of the road. Reaching a compromise that is moderate instead of conservative or liberal will ensure that the financial aspect of the relationship matrix is balanced.
The key to managing the relationship matrix is balance. Finding a compromise in regards to crucial issues of the matrix such as communication, interests and finances will result in a much happier and healthier relationship. While complete agreement is not critical to the survival of the relationship, a willingness to make compromises and understand your partner's positions on the matrix is critical.
Ps.Advice from the man that has helped 50119 people in 77 countries...
Communication is one of the factors in the relationship matrix. Style of communication can vary from speaking based on emotion and without much thought to your words to speaking based on logic and putting much thought into what you plan to say before you begin speaking. On one hand the speaker who relies on emotion, often speaks from their heart and their words usually reflect their feelings at the moment they are speaking.
On the other hand there is a speaker who relies on logic and often spends much time calculating their words before they speak. This speaker rarely reflects their emotions in their words and instead relies on facts to support their argument. While neither style of speaking is right or wrong, conflict may arise in a relationship if the partners are on opposite ends of the spectrum. These problems may arise if the partner who speaks on emotion is frustrated with the lack of emotion and slow speech of the logical speaker and the logical speaker is in turn frustrated by the lack of restraint shown by their partner. The partners can help to manage this part of the relationship matrix by trying to meet somewhere in the middle of the two extremes. The emotional speaker may agree to take some time to step away from their emotions for a few minutes before speaking and the logical speaker may agree to try to speak more freely and without so much restraint in the future.
Interests and hobbies is another aspect of the relationship matrix that can either doom or enhance a relationship. Sharing common interests can be beneficial to a relationship because it fosters closeness and a bond between the partners. They are able to enjoy a common interest or hobby and doing so brings them closer together. If a couple has no common hobbies, this can be detrimental to the relationship because the members of the couple may feel as though their partner is not taking an interest in their activities. While this may sound simple enough, it is important to realize that balancing out this aspect of the relationship matrix is very important. Having too many interests in common can result in one or both of the partners feeling as if they are being smothered while showing no interest in your partner's activities indicates a lack of caring.
Financial and career aspirations are a tricky part of the relationship matrix that can be a source of much strife in a relationship. There are two extremes for approaching finances and career. On one extreme there is the logical and conservative partner while on the other extreme is the emotional and liberal partner. These two extremes can be a recipe for disaster so it is necessary for this couple to find a sense of balance. While one partner may be a risk taker in terms of their finances and career the other prefers a more conservative route. Such extremes often result in the partners becoming frustrated with each other. This frustration stems from the partners both being uncomfortable with the others approach. For example the more liberal partner may be upset that the more conservative partner sticks with an unfulfilling job just because the pay is good while the conservative partner may be frustrated that the liberal partner works at a low pay job just because it is enjoyable. In order to resolve any issues and avoid future conflict, it helps if the partners can come to an agreement that is more to in the middle of the road. Reaching a compromise that is moderate instead of conservative or liberal will ensure that the financial aspect of the relationship matrix is balanced.
The key to managing the relationship matrix is balance. Finding a compromise in regards to crucial issues of the matrix such as communication, interests and finances will result in a much happier and healthier relationship. While complete agreement is not critical to the survival of the relationship, a willingness to make compromises and understand your partner's positions on the matrix is critical.
Ps.Advice from the man that has helped 50119 people in 77 countries...
tisdag 12 mars 2013
Strategies For Convincing A Spouse To Save A Marriage
When you’re partner seems minutes away from packing their bags—or you're living separately already—convincing a spouse to save a marriage can seem next to impossible. If you take a step back from
the situation, though, you can see that there are realistic options for changing the mind of a spouse who's about to walk out. Here are some strategies that may just get your partner to come around.
Fake it 'til you make it'
It's a common strategy for business and other areas of social like, but acting 'as if' can work for marriages, too. It works so well because how we act has a major influence both on how we feel and on how others see us.
For a while, try forgetting that you have anything but a perfectly blissful marriage and treat your spouse accordingly. Now, that's not going to be so easy if your partner's still bitter and liable to pick a fight. Still, you can take advantage of those times when things are
going well to try to see your spouse as the person you were deeply in love with when you decided to get married.
Be reasonable
Whether you want your spouse to join you in marriage counseling or just try out a few tips you picked up from a book, you'll have more success in winning them over if you don't push. Threats, guilt trips, and begging are more likely to push your partner away than give you any success convincing him to save a marriage. Instead, use a calm logical approach that taps into the underlying regard you spouse most likely still has for you or at least for the children.
Statements like 'With everything we've invested in each other, don't you think it's worth a try to save it?' or 'Wouldn't you rather be able to tell the kids we tried everything?' can help.
Address the problems
When convincing a spouse to save a marriage, promises to change ring pretty hollow unless you can back them up. If you expect your husband to believe you're not going to repeat certain mistakes in
the future, give them a real reason. This is especially important if you've had an affair or you're struggling with an addiction.
For instance, if you've started counseling to resolve an addiction that you've never dealt with before, your partner has a reason to
believe things will get better.
Take care of yourself
The stress and low mood, marital problems naturally bring about, can leave you feeling like you just don't want to do anything. For your own sake, though, don't give in to that feeling or you'll only make yourself feel worse and drive your spouse farther away.
Make sure you're eating right, getting enough sleep, and not cutting corners on personal grooming. Stay on top of your responsibilities like finances and home maintenance.
Convincing a spouse to save a marriage isn't always easy, but it can be done. The most important thing you need to do is stay calm, stay upbeat, and actively look for solutions to the problems between you.
If you need more advice on convincing your spouse to save a marriage, most marriage counselors and professionally written self-help ebooks online can give you some
tips.
Ps. Useful tips about how to save a marriage..
the situation, though, you can see that there are realistic options for changing the mind of a spouse who's about to walk out. Here are some strategies that may just get your partner to come around.
Fake it 'til you make it'
It's a common strategy for business and other areas of social like, but acting 'as if' can work for marriages, too. It works so well because how we act has a major influence both on how we feel and on how others see us.
For a while, try forgetting that you have anything but a perfectly blissful marriage and treat your spouse accordingly. Now, that's not going to be so easy if your partner's still bitter and liable to pick a fight. Still, you can take advantage of those times when things are
going well to try to see your spouse as the person you were deeply in love with when you decided to get married.
Be reasonable
Whether you want your spouse to join you in marriage counseling or just try out a few tips you picked up from a book, you'll have more success in winning them over if you don't push. Threats, guilt trips, and begging are more likely to push your partner away than give you any success convincing him to save a marriage. Instead, use a calm logical approach that taps into the underlying regard you spouse most likely still has for you or at least for the children.
Statements like 'With everything we've invested in each other, don't you think it's worth a try to save it?' or 'Wouldn't you rather be able to tell the kids we tried everything?' can help.
Address the problems
When convincing a spouse to save a marriage, promises to change ring pretty hollow unless you can back them up. If you expect your husband to believe you're not going to repeat certain mistakes in
the future, give them a real reason. This is especially important if you've had an affair or you're struggling with an addiction.
For instance, if you've started counseling to resolve an addiction that you've never dealt with before, your partner has a reason to
believe things will get better.
Take care of yourself
The stress and low mood, marital problems naturally bring about, can leave you feeling like you just don't want to do anything. For your own sake, though, don't give in to that feeling or you'll only make yourself feel worse and drive your spouse farther away.
Make sure you're eating right, getting enough sleep, and not cutting corners on personal grooming. Stay on top of your responsibilities like finances and home maintenance.
Convincing a spouse to save a marriage isn't always easy, but it can be done. The most important thing you need to do is stay calm, stay upbeat, and actively look for solutions to the problems between you.
If you need more advice on convincing your spouse to save a marriage, most marriage counselors and professionally written self-help ebooks online can give you some
tips.
Ps. Useful tips about how to save a marriage..
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