Steps For Surviving A Break Up

Surviving a break up is a painful experience.  You may feel rejected.  You may be doubting your own self worth.  You may not feel like getting out of bed in the morning.  One thing that may help you is to know that most people have already gone about the process of surviving a break up and have come out stronger for it.

Here are some of the steps for surviving a break up.

First of all, allow yourself to mourn the end of the relationship.  Your ex was almost like an appendage to you.  You identified him or her as a part of you.  You were two halves of a couple.  Just as you would be lost if your right arm was cut off, losing a significant other can be painful.

So, spend some time grieving for the relationship's end.  It can actually be a healthy thing to do.

But at some point (hopefully soon), you have to move on.  You will need to go through a process of being angry at your ex.  He or she hurt you and you have every right to feel mad at them.

Here’s a tip for surviving a break up in the anger stage.  Write a long letter to your ex spilling out your guts about how you feel.  Put every emotion, experience, and feeling into the letter.  But don't mail it to them.  Whatever you do, don't mail it.  Instead, light a candle and burn it slowly over the flame.  As your letter goes up in smoke, release your anger.

At this point, it is time to start rebuilding your life.  Surviving a break up means getting back into the game.  You should definitely lean on the support of friends and family during this difficult time.  The people closest to you will understand that you are having trouble putting your life back together and they should offer you the support that you need to heal.

Also, you should look for activities that spark your interest.  Perhaps there were things that your ex didn't like to do with you that you've missed.  Renew your interest in these things.  If you have had a lifelong desire to learn something, there’s no time like after a break up to try.  You will probably make new friends when you start a new activity and you might even meet a love interest who shares your passion.

At some point, you will want to start dating again.  Don’t expect your first few dates to turn into lifetime relationships.  Just test the waters.  Go out for coffee or a drink.  Have fun and don’t be too serious about these things.

Surviving a break up is always a painful process.  But, you are capable of moving on with your life.  Look at the end of the relationship as a chance for growth.  Millions of people have survived a split with their ex and you will too.
Ps. Look here for more tips about relationship.

Relationship Advice For Men Who Want To Keep Their Girlfriends

Okay, so your girlfriend probably won’t walk out on you because you left your socks on the floor, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still a few critical factors that, if ignored, could have her heading for the door.

Even if you think you know what makes your girlfriend tick, you may be surprised at some of the things you’ve been overlooking.

Express your love

I know what you’re thinking: “But I do show my love! I bought her a…” Stop right there. 

Unfortunately, material gifts and even the amount of time and energy you spend helping go right over some women’s heads. Many women don’t truly feel loved unless they hear the “I love you” fairly frequently.

No, your girlfriend hasn’t forgotten all the nice things you’ve done; she just thinks maybe your feelings have changed since then. Yeah, that’s right: since yesterday. See, the thing is women continually re-assess their relationships. Men tend to get comfortable and assume if there are no fights, then everything’s dandy. That’s exactly how so many guys get blindsided by break ups introduced with “Honey, we need to talk.”

So go ahead and tell her in so many words that you love her. If you have a hard time saying it, write a little note and slip it in her wallet or stick it on the bathroom mirror.  If that’s still a little to awkward for you, make a point of thanking her for something routine like making dinner or acknowledging something she’s done well.

Listen

Imagine starting an important conversation with your girlfriend or wife only to notice her staring into space as you talk. Wouldn’t you feel a little rejected? This is the same situation a lot of women face with their boyfriends or husbands, who often don’t even notice they’re spacing out. When you’re girlfriend talks, try to put aside what your doing and really listen.

That doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to have some quiet time to yourself, though. Whether you’re trying to finish a report for work the next day or just want to watch the game, if you gently explain that you’d rather have the chat at a later time, a real lady will give you your space.

Use honesty wisely

As much as we may want to believe honesty is the best policy, anyone with a little life experience will tell you it isn’t always. While outright lies are a no-no, a little tact and diplomacy can go a long way towards keeping peace in the house.

What that means is the correct answer to “Do I look fat in this?” is not “No, you look 10 pounds lighter,” but something like “Can’t say. You look good to me no matter what you wear.” Sound corny? Try it sometime and I bet you’ll like the result.

Being tactful doesn’t mean you should keep quite about things that really bother you, though. It’s better to bring problems to light in than let your resentment simmer and risk blowing up at her one day.

When both partners are willing have a little patience and keep an open mind, love relationships don’t have to been filled with frustration and drama. Get some good relationship advice from men from the right source and your relationships should be smooth sailing from here on out.



Ps. Expert Advice Here!

A Relationship Breakup - You Will Get Over It

After a relationship breakup, everything in the world can seem bleak and depressing. The most important thing to remember is that this is a normal reaction. Anytime anything "bad" happens to us, we go through a period of grieving. A relationship breakup is no exception.

When a relationship ends, you have a loss. There is the loss of a person from your life who you've spent lots of time with. The intimacy you shared with this person now feels gone, and it's common to think you will never have or sometimes even want that with another person. Breaking up can simply feel like the end of the world.

But it's not! You need to put your ex boyfriend or girlfriend in the proper perspective so you can move on. This isn't easy to do, but it’s important that you start trying as soon as possible.

You'll get tons of advice on how to deal with a relationship breakup. You'll hear everything from “burn all your pictures” to “hop back on the horse and find another relationship.” You will know which approach is best for you, no matter what anyone says. Don’t try something that worked for someone else if it doesn't feel right.

Give yourself permission to feel bad at first. Whenever you have a loss you go through the same stages of grief as you do when there’s a death or any type of ending, with the degree of feeling varying from situation to situation.

1. Denial is the first stage of loss after anything difficult like the end of a relationship. This can't be happening!

2. Next, pain and guilt set in after the shock and denial start to fade.

3. Anger comes next, as does something called bargaining. If I do this or don't do that, maybe we can get back together. I'll never look at another man as long as I live, if only . . . .

4. Depression and loneliness set in, once it's clear that bargaining won't change the painful truth.

5. The next step is the lessening of depression when things start to seem a little better.

6. Then comes the hard part of working through it and getting past it.

7. The last stage of grief after a relationship breakup or any loss is acceptance, and hope for a better future.

It can help to try to figure out which stage you're in, and to know that everyone experiences something along these lines. Not everyone will go through every stage and they might not even be in order.

You might never start bargaining, for instance, especially if you know it's really and truly over. But most people's grief process will follow that general pattern. It's important to recognize that there is a final stage, and that stage means you've gotten past it.

Try to put your relationship breakup into perspective with other important things that have happened and will happen in your life, and remember that you'll eventually get to the acceptance stage, too.

Ps. Here are some really good advice on this subject!

Discover The Difference Between Marriage Dating And Fun Dating

Marriage dating is serious business. The people involved are looking for Mr. and Mrs. Right and are on a quest to tie the knot. Have you ever been on dates like that? It can be more like a stressful job interview than a really fun date.

When someone asks you out, you can tell if they’re looking for something long term like marriage, dating to find someone to spend intimate time with, or just dating for fun. The ones that are dating for fun are by far the ones you’ll have a better time with. The ones dating just to sleep with a person can turn out to be users you shouldn’t waste your time with. And the ones looking for marriage put too much pressure on a few simple dates.

If you’re the one looking for marriage, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to get married, of course. But it’s not something you should have in front of your mind when you go on a date. If you ask someone out based on whether or not you might marry them, you’ll probably be disappointed.  And if you only say yes to those who seem like marriage material, you might be missing out on someone really great.

So are we telling you to lower your standards?  If your end goal is marriage, dating can become a boring chore that’s more like screening applicants than the fun time it should be. And few things will put off the person who asked you out more than appearing desperate for a husband or wife when all they want to do is have some fun.

If you are ready for marriage, dating widely can be helpful, though. Don’t limit yourself to just the best looking person or the one you think might make a good mate. If there’s someone you think you’d have a good time with, ask for a date. Even if that person doesn’t seem to be someone you might want to marry.

In the early stages of dating, you don’t know the person well enough to judge what kind of mate they’d make.  Sometimes you don’t even really know this right before you marry someone! So stop pre-judging people and eliminating possibilities too early.  All you’re doing is narrowing down your choices for a fun date on Friday night.

If you open your eyes a little and ask (or say yes to) that person who you’ve overlooked all this time for whatever reason, you might be pleasantly surprised. So what if that person doesn’t seem to be marriage material! You don’t really know them well enough to make those kinds of judgments. Put aside thoughts of marriage for now and let yourself relax and have a good time.

This is not to say you can’t find your soul mate by dating; you can. Many people actually do it that way, especially when they’re not really trying. But if you’re too focused on marriage, dating is no longer the fun, social activity it should be.

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How to Demand Respect AND Get It

Respect, as it applies to people, is defined as a feeling of esteem for a person.  This feeling is generally a result of a person’s achievements.  While all people deserve respect, it is an unfortunate fact that many people do not receive the respect that they deserve.  There are several ways however that you can put yourself in a situation where you will begin to receive the respect that you deserve.  In general the keys to demanding respect and getting it are treating others with respect, treating yourself with respect, conveying a sense of confidence, not being afraid to make decisions and dressing appropriately.  These key factors will help you to gain the respect you deserve. 

If you expect others to treat you with respect, one of the first steps you must take is to begin treating others with respect if you aren’t already doing so.  If you have a disrespectful attitude towards others it will be difficult for them to feel respectful towards you.  Treating others with respect demonstrates that you are worthy of respect yourself because it shows that you are capable of holding others in esteem.  If you do not give others their due respect, many people will see you as a person who is not compassionate of others and not willing to understand the value of others.  Many bosses will try to demand respect by being authoritative with their subordinates.  While authority is a characteristic that commands respect, this is often taken too far and if the boss does not recognize the employees achievements the employee will most likely be resentful of the boss and not feel respectful towards him.  On the other hand a boss that maintains an authoritative air while also being supportive of his employees and willing to listen to their ideas will gain the respect of his employees.

Treating yourself with respect is another key element to receiving respect from others.  Self respect is seeing yourself for your innate worth and acting accordingly by treating yourself with esteem.  It’s important to treat others with respect but by the same token you must also treat yourself with respect.  While self-deprecating humor may be your way of coping with your perceived inadequacies this type of behavior demonstrates to other that you do not feel you are truly worthy of their respect.  In order to gain the respect of others you must first treat yourself with respect. 

Confidence also inspires a sense of respect.  Being confident, without being arrogant, is a sign that you know your abilities and past performances are worthy of respect.  Knowing that you are a highly capable person and not being afraid to let others know this is another way to demand respect and get it.  Exercise caution with using confidence to command respect though.  Over confidence may have the reverse effect and result in you not receiving respect.  Knowing your abilities and being confident in yourself will go a long way in ensuring that you earn the respect of those around you. 

Decision making is another aspect that could be a determining factor in whether or not those around you respect you.  This goes along with confidence in that if you are sure of yourself you will not hesitate to make the right decisions in any situation.  An ability to make decisions without wavering or being unsure of yourself will inspire confidence in those around you.  While it’s important to seek advice and counsel from others, if you are in charge of a situation the decision is ultimately yours to make.  If you make valid decisions without showing signs of doubt you will be respected for your ability to take a stand and act on what you believe is right. 

Dressing the part is also very important in earning the respect of others.  While casual clothing may be acceptable in many work places you will find that those who are in a position of authority and command respect often dress less casually than those who are not well respected.  While your clothes are not an accurate indication of your abilities others around you may jump to conclusions based on your appearance.  While this is a sad fact of life, it’s important to acknowledge that this does exist in society and take care to always convey a professional appearance.  Doing so will help you to earn the respect of your friends and colleagues as well as your employer. 

Perhaps the most important factor to understand about respect is that, in most cases, it is not given automatically by others but that it must be earned.  You can earn the respect you deserve by treating yourself and others with respect, being confident and unafraid to make important decisions and dressing in a way that shows that you have respect for yourself.  All of these aspects will help to ensure that you are not only demanding respect but also getting it.
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Strategies For Convincing A Spouse To Save A Marriage

When you’re partner seems minutes away from packing their bags—or you're living separately already—convincing a spouse to save a marriage can seem next to impossible. If you take a step back from
the situation, though, you can see that there are realistic options for changing the mind of a spouse who's about to walk out. Here are some strategies that may just get your partner to come around.

Fake it 'til you make it'

It's a common strategy for business and other areas of social like, but acting 'as if' can work for marriages, too. It works so well because how we act has a major influence both on how we feel and on how others see us.

For a while, try forgetting that you have anything but a perfectly blissful marriage and treat your spouse accordingly. Now, that's not going to be so easy if your partner's still bitter and liable to pick a fight. Still, you can take advantage of those times when things are
going well to try to see your spouse as the person you were deeply in love with when you decided to get married.

Be reasonable

Whether you want your spouse to join you in marriage counseling or just try out a few tips you picked up from a book, you'll have more success in winning them over if you don't push. Threats, guilt trips, and begging are more likely to push your partner away than give you any success convincing him to save a marriage. Instead, use a calm logical approach that taps into the underlying regard you spouse most likely still has for you or at least for the children.

Statements like 'With everything we've invested in each other, don't you think it's worth a try to save it?' or 'Wouldn't you rather be able to tell the kids we tried everything?' can help.

Address the problems

When convincing a spouse to save a marriage, promises to change ring pretty hollow unless you can back them up. If you expect your husband to believe you're not going to repeat certain mistakes in
the future, give them a real reason. This is especially important if you've had an affair or you're struggling with an addiction.

For instance, if you've started counseling to resolve an addiction that you've never dealt with before, your partner has a reason to
believe things will get better.

Take care of yourself

The stress and low mood, marital problems naturally bring about, can leave you feeling like you just don't want to do anything. For your own sake, though, don't give in to that feeling or you'll only make yourself feel worse and drive your spouse farther away.

Make sure you're eating right, getting enough sleep, and not cutting corners on personal grooming. Stay on top of your responsibilities like finances and home maintenance.

Convincing a spouse to save a marriage isn't always easy, but it can be done. The most important thing you need to do is stay calm, stay upbeat, and actively look for solutions to the problems between you.

If you need more advice on convincing your spouse to save a marriage, most marriage counselors and professionally written self-help ebooks online can give you some
tips.
Ps. Useful tips about how to save a marriage..

5 Tips For Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Think you don't stand much chance of getting your ex girlfriend back without begging or apologizing for things you did not even do? If so, you've fallen into the same trap I did after my girlfriend walked out. Don't feel bad; most guys react the same way in this situation. Nine chances out of ten, you are doing the exact opposite of what you should be and it's only making your ex glad she left.

Here's what you should be doing instead:

Stay calm!

You had a fight, you yelled at each other, she told you she never wants to see your face again and walked out. Once you start to really feel you've lost her, panic sets in. You end up calling her every day, sending one email after another, and basically turn into a stalker before you realize it.

No woman in her right mind is going to go back to a guy who
is hunting her. Take a few days to collect your thoughts and then try a few times to contact her. If she does not respond, move on to the next step, which is:

Talk to her friends! Not what you wanted to hear, I bet. Yeah, trying to impress her friends was hard enough when you were going out, but now that she has spent hours telling them what a jerk you are, how are you supposed to approach them?

Unfortunately, though, when it comes to getting your girlfriend back, these are exactly the people you need to be talking to because they have the most power to sway your ex. If you can explain your side of the story and at least get a little sympathy, the next time she mentions you, they are at least going to put in a good word for you.

Stay attractive!

Let's face it, a lot us, both men and women, have a tendency to let ourselves go when we are feeling depressed. Maybe you wear the same shirt for three days in a row or put off getting a hair cut for a little too long. This is exactly what you shouldn't be doing. I know its hard, but you, no matter how bad you feel, take care of yourself. Eat right, get enough sleep, and don't skimp on personal hygiene. Not only will you feel better, you're ex girlfriend will see you as someone worth being with.

Be open!

Once you get a chance to talk to her, you have to know what to say. Part of that means explaining what you were thinking when you had the fight that almost ended the relationship.

This is a hard one, I know. If I had my choice, no body would ever know I ever had a single problem in my life. In reality, though, you'll be better off admitting that you were stressed out from work, family problems, or whatever than trying to cover anything up.

Getting your ex girlfriend back doesn't have to be hard if you keep your self respect and tackle the problem head on. Stay calm and be honest about what caused the split and you'll be well on your way to reconciling with your lady.
Ps. Read more here about getting your ex girlfriend back...