We Are Getting Back Together: How To Save A Relationship

Keeping the love alive in a relationship takes work.  While the initial sparks may fly with no effort, over the long haul, it takes creativity and initiative to make things work.

Step outside of your comfort zone.  Don't do things because they're routine or expected.

Whether you're sending her flowers for no reason or giving him a massage, you send the message that you care.  You tell the person that you're not waiting for the perfect "moment" to come along – you live (and love) in the present tense.

We met Max and Mindy at the beginning of this series of articles.  You'll remember that Mindy was feeling restless.  Max knew that in order to keep her, he needed to step it up.

He started by planning a weekend escape doing all of the things she enjoyed (including antique shopping which he could have done without).  The next week, he wrote her a love letter.

Mindy’s interest was sparked.  She, in turn, wanted to start doing things for Max.  She suggested going to a new French restaurant rather than grabbing a pizza one weekend.  For his birthday, she gave him two tickets to the WWF – and said she'd go along with him and didn't even make a funny face when she told him.

As they began to be more creative in their relationship, it spurred the other one to reciprocate.  They stopped feeling like they were in a rut.  Instead of being in a "go no where" relationship, all of a sudden, the spark was lit.  Things began to get exciting and they started to talk about the future.

If you love someone but feel like your relationship is stuck, un-stick it.  You have the power to shake things up by thinking outside of the box.

I've given you a number of suggestions in this series of articles for how to do that.  But you should think about your particular situation and the person you love.  What would make him or her happy?  How can you do the unexpected to get a response that will move your relationship forward?

I guarantee you that if you go out on a limb, something will change in your relationship.

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We Are Getting Back Together:Think Mystery Date To Keep Your Love Alive

Plan a Mystery Date

Some couples do the same things for every date.  Others depend on the old "so what do you want to do?" routine.

Instead, take charge and plan a mystery date.  Take the time and care to prepare a special date.  Your partner should not be responsible for anything other than showing up.  You should pick the place, choose the activity, buy the tickets, and arrange for the dinner.

Settle on the time and dress ahead of time.  Don't whisk your love off to Paris for a romantic weekend when he or she has a major presentation at work on Monday.  You are only setting yourself up for hurt at your partner’s response if you don't take their schedule into consideration.

But, once you have agreed on the day, let yourself get creative.  Pretend you are planning the world’s most spectacular experience specifically to delight the head and heart of the person you love.

You can be lavish or low key.  It can be close by or far away.

Keep in mind that you are planning something your partner will enjoy, not indulging in your own fantasies.  Focus on making the date, with all of its trimmings, a delight to your love.

Keep in mind that a date doesn't need to be expensive, just imaginative.  A picnic can work as well as a week in Paris.  A home cooked meal can be as romantic as a 5 star restaurant.  This is about your heart, not your wallet.

Taking responsibility to do something that you know the other person will be pleased by can be very romantic.

We Are Getting Back Together

Go Someplace New

If a tourist were to come to your town, what are the things he or she would most likely do?

Too often we take our own environs for granted and fall into a routine for our dates.  But you don't have to repeat the same activities for every evening out.

Too many people drop into their favorite neighborhood restaurant, have a Saturday night movie date, or just hang with their friends.  You can spice up your relationship and show your partner that you care about them by doing something new.

When you put some effort into new and different activities, you demonstrate that your partner is worth putting yourself out for.

Consider checking out the weekend section of your daily newspaper or the events section of a weekly alternative paper for great ideas.

Here's a list of places you can visit together:

• Aquariums
• Zoos
• Amusement Parks
• Water Parks
• Beaches
• Museums
• Sculpture Gardens
• Botanical Gardens
• Churches
• Rowboats
• Mountains
• The Desert
• Paris
• Redwood Forest
• New York at Christmas
• Carriage Rides
• Fireplaces
• Country Lanes

Keeping your love fresh by creating a mystery date isn't difficult or expensive, unless you make it so. Just remember you are doing this for your significant other and not yourself.

Ps.Always do everything from your heart and you will make up instead of break up in your relationship!