We Are Getting Back Together:Sparks of Love Now and Forever

Introduction

This series of articles is about the spark of love. What makes a couple compatible? And is it the things we always imagined?

There are many myths about what matters and what doesn't. There are also things that you might have overlooked as the first blush of attraction crept your way.

There was something that sparked your interest and got you to your first date. Something on that date brought you back for a second.

Now you are in a relationship – you are either serious with a boyfriend or girlfriend or you are married. Now, it is time to analyze your compatibility. But this is no easy checklist. It's a combination of shared values, experiences, and interests.

But relationships are too important to not analyze. That is why we're going to look at 16 things that matter in a relationship and 7 things that don't.

What Matters?

Honesty

Love is more than a mutual sexual attraction, it is a strong emotional bond. Honesty is the glue in that bond.

To become emotionally intimate, you have to share secrets and experiences with your partner that are exclusive to you. This intense, intimate, private exchange requires honesty on the part of both parties. This means that you have to give accurate information about the present as well as the past.

You should know that being honest doesn't mean being rude. If she asks you “does this dress make me look fat?” The answer is always "NO!" You don't have to share things just to hurt your partner. Refrain from spilling your guts in a way that damages the relationship.

Remember, your partner will instinctively trust you because they have put their romantic life in your hands. But, if you violate that trust by lying, he or she may have trouble ever trusting you again.

Trust

Speaking of trust, there is no way you can know what the other person is doing 24/7. That is why you need to trust that they are not doing anything hurtful to you.

That means that you have to trust that they are not being inappropriate with another person, spending community money unwisely, or abusing alcohol, drugs, etc.

Like honesty, once trust is broken, it is hard to get back. Often, the damage done by someone who is untrustworthy can lead to a break up. If the trust violation has been serious, consider couple's counseling if you don't want a split.

Loyalty

If your partner is not for you than who is? You need your significant other to be in your corner 100 percent of the time. That doesn't mean that he or she won't ever criticize you. But it does mean that any critique will be constructive and in your best interest.

Loyalty also means being there for the other person in thick and thin. You should be able to count on your partner when the chips are down.

Finally, loyalty means that your partner is not cheating on you emotionally or sexually with another person.

Tomorrow's article will continue with this series of articles on the sparks of love.

Ps. Meanwhile you can continue watching this Free Video explaining the nuts and bolts in relationships!

We Are Getting Back Together: How To Save A Relationship

Keeping the love alive in a relationship takes work.  While the initial sparks may fly with no effort, over the long haul, it takes creativity and initiative to make things work.

Step outside of your comfort zone.  Don't do things because they're routine or expected.

Whether you're sending her flowers for no reason or giving him a massage, you send the message that you care.  You tell the person that you're not waiting for the perfect "moment" to come along – you live (and love) in the present tense.

We met Max and Mindy at the beginning of this series of articles.  You'll remember that Mindy was feeling restless.  Max knew that in order to keep her, he needed to step it up.

He started by planning a weekend escape doing all of the things she enjoyed (including antique shopping which he could have done without).  The next week, he wrote her a love letter.

Mindy’s interest was sparked.  She, in turn, wanted to start doing things for Max.  She suggested going to a new French restaurant rather than grabbing a pizza one weekend.  For his birthday, she gave him two tickets to the WWF – and said she'd go along with him and didn't even make a funny face when she told him.

As they began to be more creative in their relationship, it spurred the other one to reciprocate.  They stopped feeling like they were in a rut.  Instead of being in a "go no where" relationship, all of a sudden, the spark was lit.  Things began to get exciting and they started to talk about the future.

If you love someone but feel like your relationship is stuck, un-stick it.  You have the power to shake things up by thinking outside of the box.

I've given you a number of suggestions in this series of articles for how to do that.  But you should think about your particular situation and the person you love.  What would make him or her happy?  How can you do the unexpected to get a response that will move your relationship forward?

I guarantee you that if you go out on a limb, something will change in your relationship.

Ps.The Top Notch Guide to a Happy Relationship has helped more then 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back to love again!<<< =Here is how =>>>

We Are Getting Back Together:Think Mystery Date To Keep Your Love Alive

Plan a Mystery Date

Some couples do the same things for every date.  Others depend on the old "so what do you want to do?" routine.

Instead, take charge and plan a mystery date.  Take the time and care to prepare a special date.  Your partner should not be responsible for anything other than showing up.  You should pick the place, choose the activity, buy the tickets, and arrange for the dinner.

Settle on the time and dress ahead of time.  Don't whisk your love off to Paris for a romantic weekend when he or she has a major presentation at work on Monday.  You are only setting yourself up for hurt at your partner’s response if you don't take their schedule into consideration.

But, once you have agreed on the day, let yourself get creative.  Pretend you are planning the world’s most spectacular experience specifically to delight the head and heart of the person you love.

You can be lavish or low key.  It can be close by or far away.

Keep in mind that you are planning something your partner will enjoy, not indulging in your own fantasies.  Focus on making the date, with all of its trimmings, a delight to your love.

Keep in mind that a date doesn't need to be expensive, just imaginative.  A picnic can work as well as a week in Paris.  A home cooked meal can be as romantic as a 5 star restaurant.  This is about your heart, not your wallet.

Taking responsibility to do something that you know the other person will be pleased by can be very romantic.

We Are Getting Back Together

Go Someplace New

If a tourist were to come to your town, what are the things he or she would most likely do?

Too often we take our own environs for granted and fall into a routine for our dates.  But you don't have to repeat the same activities for every evening out.

Too many people drop into their favorite neighborhood restaurant, have a Saturday night movie date, or just hang with their friends.  You can spice up your relationship and show your partner that you care about them by doing something new.

When you put some effort into new and different activities, you demonstrate that your partner is worth putting yourself out for.

Consider checking out the weekend section of your daily newspaper or the events section of a weekly alternative paper for great ideas.

Here's a list of places you can visit together:

• Aquariums
• Zoos
• Amusement Parks
• Water Parks
• Beaches
• Museums
• Sculpture Gardens
• Botanical Gardens
• Churches
• Rowboats
• Mountains
• The Desert
• Paris
• Redwood Forest
• New York at Christmas
• Carriage Rides
• Fireplaces
• Country Lanes

Keeping your love fresh by creating a mystery date isn't difficult or expensive, unless you make it so. Just remember you are doing this for your significant other and not yourself.

Ps.Always do everything from your heart and you will make up instead of break up in your relationship!

Are You Really Thinking About Dumping Your Girlfriend?

Are you thinking about dumping your girlfriend? Chances are, if you are thinking about it, the relationship is already over. Now, what you have to decide is how to do it.

As the song says, "breaking up is hard to do." There are so many reasons that you put it off.

For one thing, it's easier to just keep on keeping on. Having a girlfriend is convenient. It means not having to be alone on a cold night, not having to come up with a pick up line, and not having your family wonder why you didn't bring a date to cousin Sophie’s wedding.

For another thing, part of you still loves your girlfriend. You know that breaking up will break her heart. So, you wait – for just the right time, for just the right place, and for just the right words to say.

Guess what? It is going to be hard whenever you do it. So, make the commitment to break up and then find a way to do it. Most of the time, women are the ones who initiate a split in a relationship. So, why do guys break up with their girlfriends? Here are 10 good reasons to call it quits:

#10 – She nags you. If she acts like she's your mother and you are 4 years old, the relationship just isn’t going to work. If you constantly are telling her, “stop nagging,” it’s a good time to break up.

#9 – She doesn’t appreciate you. Let's face it, there are plenty of women who will see you for the compassionate, loving guy you are. If she doesn't think you are a great guy, dump her and find someone who does.

#8 – She’s too emotional. A girl who is high maintenance is the pits. And, when the maintenance has to do with taking care of her emotions, sometimes it's better to cut free.

#7 – She manipulates you. Some women feel that they can only get what they need through manipulation. In fact, they would rather play games than ask nicely. If you feel like she is too manipulative, it is a good idea to get out of the relationship.

#6 – She underestimates you. Nothing is more frustrating than having to constantly prove yourself to someone who should be your biggest cheerleader. If she is constantly surprised when you succeed or if she undermines your success, you should consider getting out of the
relationship.

#5 – She stops putting out. There are lots of reasons why having a steady girlfriend is wonderful. But let’s face it, the number one reason is that you know you’ll have someone there at the end of a Saturday night. If she stops giving it to you on a regular basis, it’s time
to find your fortune elsewhere.

#4 – She tries to change you. There is a play called "I love you. You"re perfect. Now change." That sums up what happens in all too many relationships. A woman falls in love with you and thinks you are the perfect man and then finds all kinds of reasons why you should change. If she tries to stop you from being the person you are and the person you want to be, get out.

Are You Really Thinking About Dumping Your Girlfriend?

#3 – She cheats on you. Whether it is a one night stand or a secret relationship with a coworker, a woman's cheating can drive a stake through the heart of a relationship. Unless you are prepared to forgive and then completely forget the affair, you have to break the
relationship off. The cheating will fester like a wound and destroy your relationship.

#2 – She doesn't love you anymore. Do you feel that she has fallen out of love with you but doesn't know how to end it? Is inertia all that is keeping you together? If so, you might have to be the one who calls it quits.

#1 – You don't love her anymore. If you love her like a sister or friend but just don't have the romantic feelings that sustain an intimate relationship, you owe it to her to be honest. Sure, she's going to hurt. A lot. But you are better off setting her free to find someone who loves
her like she deserves.

Go ahead and reread this article and give it some thought and you will shortly begin to realize that all the above 10 reasons are indeed some of the same reason you have put off dumping your girlfriend. In the next article in this series of articles we will continue to discuss the type of break ups. Stay Tuned!
Ps. Remember to be honest and thruthful to yourself and what you feel in the relationship and follow the voice of your heart! Need some more advice? Here it is!

We Are Getting Back Together: Creating a Lasting Relationship

So you have succeeded to win your ex back and are in a relationship with the person you love again. You need to focus on the importance of creating lasting change and not a temporary solution. This means that you will have to uncover what truly drives your partner, their fears, pain as well as pleasure.

Humans do everything they do to protect themselves from pain or to gain pleasure. Usually, the avoidance of pain is more powerful than gaining pleasure so people will run away and do everything in their power to avoid pain.

Now, if you are back together again that means you have succeeded in rebuilding their trust in you and they believe that you will deliver. So whatever you do, don't fall back into your old patterns or you will undo all of your work in moments. No matter your fears or insecurities, you have to set them aside and stop expecting the worst as this will ultimately come through and it will become a self fulfilling prophecy.

Even when things are great people still have the tendency to try and protect themselves from pain because they believe it's too good to last. When you start thinking like that you begin to pull away and creating walls to protect yourself even though nothing has happened.

Society seems to thrive on pain and we have been conditioned to believe that good things don't last. But the only reason they don't last is because we don't allow them to by allowing our fears to take control of us and eventually sabotaging ourselves.

Another reason relationships end is because we allow ourselves to start taking things for granted after a while as we get caught up in other aspects of our lives and we no longer do all those little things that used to make the relationship wonderful. A relationship is just like a flower that needs to be nurtured and cared for to thrive and but we allow our self to forget how wonderful we felt when we were giving the relationship everything we have.

 Creating a Lasting Relationship

The way you can avoid this is by maintaining awareness and focusing on giving to your partner rather than receiving. Don't allow yourself to lapse into that state of familiarity where you no longer take care of yourself or do those small things that bring a smile to your significant others face.

Remember that feeling of joy you get when you see them smile and see the happiness on your face as that will help keep your focus. Your partner will automatically respond to your actions so that you will both avoid the traps of familiarity. As they say, familiarity breeds contempt, which is definitely something you want to avoid.

Variety is the spice of life and small things can have such a big impact on a relationship that your love and passion can last a lifetime. Just because you have been together for years does not mean you shouldn't bring her flowers or you shouldn't wait for him in your sexy under-things.

You need to remember what you did at the beginning of the relationship that made it wonderful and what you did that showed your partner you loved them.

The key to a lasting relationship is for both of you to understand what the other needs to feel completely loved. You shouldn't just focus on what you need but on what your partner needs as well. Of course, it’s also important not to give yourself over completely to just fulfilling your partner’s needs to the exclusion of your own.

You need to strike a balance between making sure you’re both getting what you need out of the relationship.

For example, if your partner feels loved only when you tell them you love them but you have just been buying them things then they won't feel your love even though you think you are doing your best.

On the other hand maybe you need to be held to feel loved but your partner doesn't know this is what you need so they keep telling you how they feel. By identifying each others emotional needs and how you can satisfy them you will find that your relationship will weather any storm life may throw at it.
Ps.So lets be grateful and let love win over any obstacle! Read how 50,119 people found love again and watch Free Video with tips about relations!