We Are Getting Back Together:Sparks of Love Now and Forever

Introduction

This series of articles is about the spark of love. What makes a couple compatible? And is it the things we always imagined?

There are many myths about what matters and what doesn't. There are also things that you might have overlooked as the first blush of attraction crept your way.

There was something that sparked your interest and got you to your first date. Something on that date brought you back for a second.

Now you are in a relationship – you are either serious with a boyfriend or girlfriend or you are married. Now, it is time to analyze your compatibility. But this is no easy checklist. It's a combination of shared values, experiences, and interests.

But relationships are too important to not analyze. That is why we're going to look at 16 things that matter in a relationship and 7 things that don't.

What Matters?

Honesty

Love is more than a mutual sexual attraction, it is a strong emotional bond. Honesty is the glue in that bond.

To become emotionally intimate, you have to share secrets and experiences with your partner that are exclusive to you. This intense, intimate, private exchange requires honesty on the part of both parties. This means that you have to give accurate information about the present as well as the past.

You should know that being honest doesn't mean being rude. If she asks you “does this dress make me look fat?” The answer is always "NO!" You don't have to share things just to hurt your partner. Refrain from spilling your guts in a way that damages the relationship.

Remember, your partner will instinctively trust you because they have put their romantic life in your hands. But, if you violate that trust by lying, he or she may have trouble ever trusting you again.

Trust

Speaking of trust, there is no way you can know what the other person is doing 24/7. That is why you need to trust that they are not doing anything hurtful to you.

That means that you have to trust that they are not being inappropriate with another person, spending community money unwisely, or abusing alcohol, drugs, etc.

Like honesty, once trust is broken, it is hard to get back. Often, the damage done by someone who is untrustworthy can lead to a break up. If the trust violation has been serious, consider couple's counseling if you don't want a split.

Loyalty

If your partner is not for you than who is? You need your significant other to be in your corner 100 percent of the time. That doesn't mean that he or she won't ever criticize you. But it does mean that any critique will be constructive and in your best interest.

Loyalty also means being there for the other person in thick and thin. You should be able to count on your partner when the chips are down.

Finally, loyalty means that your partner is not cheating on you emotionally or sexually with another person.

Tomorrow's article will continue with this series of articles on the sparks of love.

Ps. Meanwhile you can continue watching this Free Video explaining the nuts and bolts in relationships!

We Are Getting Back Together: How To Save A Relationship

Keeping the love alive in a relationship takes work.  While the initial sparks may fly with no effort, over the long haul, it takes creativity and initiative to make things work.

Step outside of your comfort zone.  Don't do things because they're routine or expected.

Whether you're sending her flowers for no reason or giving him a massage, you send the message that you care.  You tell the person that you're not waiting for the perfect "moment" to come along – you live (and love) in the present tense.

We met Max and Mindy at the beginning of this series of articles.  You'll remember that Mindy was feeling restless.  Max knew that in order to keep her, he needed to step it up.

He started by planning a weekend escape doing all of the things she enjoyed (including antique shopping which he could have done without).  The next week, he wrote her a love letter.

Mindy’s interest was sparked.  She, in turn, wanted to start doing things for Max.  She suggested going to a new French restaurant rather than grabbing a pizza one weekend.  For his birthday, she gave him two tickets to the WWF – and said she'd go along with him and didn't even make a funny face when she told him.

As they began to be more creative in their relationship, it spurred the other one to reciprocate.  They stopped feeling like they were in a rut.  Instead of being in a "go no where" relationship, all of a sudden, the spark was lit.  Things began to get exciting and they started to talk about the future.

If you love someone but feel like your relationship is stuck, un-stick it.  You have the power to shake things up by thinking outside of the box.

I've given you a number of suggestions in this series of articles for how to do that.  But you should think about your particular situation and the person you love.  What would make him or her happy?  How can you do the unexpected to get a response that will move your relationship forward?

I guarantee you that if you go out on a limb, something will change in your relationship.

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We Are Getting Back Together:Think Mystery Date To Keep Your Love Alive

Plan a Mystery Date

Some couples do the same things for every date.  Others depend on the old "so what do you want to do?" routine.

Instead, take charge and plan a mystery date.  Take the time and care to prepare a special date.  Your partner should not be responsible for anything other than showing up.  You should pick the place, choose the activity, buy the tickets, and arrange for the dinner.

Settle on the time and dress ahead of time.  Don't whisk your love off to Paris for a romantic weekend when he or she has a major presentation at work on Monday.  You are only setting yourself up for hurt at your partner’s response if you don't take their schedule into consideration.

But, once you have agreed on the day, let yourself get creative.  Pretend you are planning the world’s most spectacular experience specifically to delight the head and heart of the person you love.

You can be lavish or low key.  It can be close by or far away.

Keep in mind that you are planning something your partner will enjoy, not indulging in your own fantasies.  Focus on making the date, with all of its trimmings, a delight to your love.

Keep in mind that a date doesn't need to be expensive, just imaginative.  A picnic can work as well as a week in Paris.  A home cooked meal can be as romantic as a 5 star restaurant.  This is about your heart, not your wallet.

Taking responsibility to do something that you know the other person will be pleased by can be very romantic.

We Are Getting Back Together

Go Someplace New

If a tourist were to come to your town, what are the things he or she would most likely do?

Too often we take our own environs for granted and fall into a routine for our dates.  But you don't have to repeat the same activities for every evening out.

Too many people drop into their favorite neighborhood restaurant, have a Saturday night movie date, or just hang with their friends.  You can spice up your relationship and show your partner that you care about them by doing something new.

When you put some effort into new and different activities, you demonstrate that your partner is worth putting yourself out for.

Consider checking out the weekend section of your daily newspaper or the events section of a weekly alternative paper for great ideas.

Here's a list of places you can visit together:

• Aquariums
• Zoos
• Amusement Parks
• Water Parks
• Beaches
• Museums
• Sculpture Gardens
• Botanical Gardens
• Churches
• Rowboats
• Mountains
• The Desert
• Paris
• Redwood Forest
• New York at Christmas
• Carriage Rides
• Fireplaces
• Country Lanes

Keeping your love fresh by creating a mystery date isn't difficult or expensive, unless you make it so. Just remember you are doing this for your significant other and not yourself.

Ps.Always do everything from your heart and you will make up instead of break up in your relationship!

Getting Along With The Ex - Yes It Can Be Done

One of the most beautiful days in a woman’s life is the day she gets married, wearing her beautiful white gown, with nothing but love and hope in her heart.  The moment she walks down the aisle, all she can see is the love of the man who is waiting for her and all she can think of is the wonderful future that awaits them both.  A future that promises to be filled with many moments of joy and happiness, and the furthest thing from her mind is the possibility of it all coming crashing down. 

Unfortunately, though, life rarely turns out as we plan it and things often take unexpected turns.  It may take a year or 20, but sometimes relationships begin to fall apart as people change with time and then find they no longer are suitable for each other.

Getting Along With The Ex - Yes It Can Be Done

But first, many couples try to overlook and work through their problems. While some do succeed, just as many don’t.  Then there are those couples who agree to stay together for the sake of the children, yet this can be worse than a divorce because sometimes the relationship degenerates so much that it places undue stress on the kids.  This is when it is time to say enough is enough and to file for divorce, even if it is the last thing you ever wanted.

No one ever enters into a marriage with the idea that it will come to an end and no one ever wants it or expects it to happen.  However, life often gets away and what we wish or desire has little to do with reality.  Although, a divorce is not to be taken lightly nor is it a decision to be made on a whim, therefore you have to be certain that there is no possibility that you and your spouse can work out your problems.

If a divorce is the only solution then you will have to take into consideration that you will most likely have to maintain a relationship with your former spouse, at least for the children’s sake.

This is not something easily done, especially since it will take quite a while for you get over your feelings for your ex spouse and you will most likely be quite uncomfortable in their presence, especially if your feelings ran deep.  But you have little choice in the matter and you will have to learn to move on and start over again. It can be done even if you think it's impossible.
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Advice On How To Effortlessly Save Your Relationship

Relationships always start off happy and full of excitement and there is no better feeling than that ‘new relationship’ feeling. Your first fight is terrible because it recognizes a sign of maturity in a relationship and that new feeling is fading. Then if you start to feel that your relationship is in trouble; that can just be absolutely devastating.
As soon as you start seeing some signs of trouble in your relationship you can start to panic and might even start acting and thinking irrationally – which really doesn’t help the situation one bit. How you act now can make or break your relationship so if you really want to save this amazing relationship then the following tips might be useful to you.
What is the Problem in the Relationship?
The first step to saving a relationship is to identify the cause of the problems that you are having. All relationships will have some problems but some problems are worse than others and these problems are the ones that can break a relationship if they aren’t resolved. Even the small issues are worth working at getting resolved as even though they are small, they can build up over time and become the cause of a failed relationship. So to save your relationship and your love for your partner, it is important to identify any problems and work through them together.

Talk to Your Partner about the Problem.
A relationship is a two person journey and you can’t solve all problems on your own. So if there is a problem in your relationship you will need to sit down with your partner and discuss it, don’t just try to resolve the issue yourself. By talking about any problems that you have then you can both work toward solving the problem and saving your relationship.
Do You and Your Partner Still Love Each Other?
A relationship won’t work without love to hold it together and sometimes people just fall out of love. Love is a very powerful tool and if you both still love each other then you should be able to use that tool to save your relationship. If your love for each other has died off then it may be time to say goodbye, but if there is still a glimmer of love then your relationship has hope.
It is possible to save a relationship that has problems if you can keep the above tips in mind. Love is a two way street and you both need to feel love toward each other and be committed to saving your relationship. If your partner doesn’t want to be in the relationship at all then you can’t force him to stay, but if he does still love you then there will always be hope. Stay calm, look at the problems rationally and work them out together.
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