Breaking up is never easy and can dominate all your thoughts so that you can't think of anything else. These thoughts have probably been bouncing around in your head for some time before you found this article. If you are reading this then you made the decision to get her back and want to know what will work to make that happen. Below are six steps that will put you on the right track to getting your ex girlfriend back.
Step 1: Avoid all contact if possible. You may live or work together which will complicate this, but not make it valuable to you. You need to break contact with your ex for about 3-4 weeks. This is a cool down period for both of you. Your ex girlfriend needs time to sort out her thoughts and think about the break up, and no surprise, so do you. We know you really miss her and this time apart is going to be a test like no other, but you need to use this time for what it is designed for. Ideally you want to have no contact at all so no calling her, no texting her, no doing any of those things that you used to use to get in touch with her. She needs time to miss you too. You are giving her some space to recover as you are and it's best if she can do that alone. You've said all you need to say to her for right now.
Step 2: What went wrong? This is an obvious question you should be asking yourself. Something must have gone wrong otherwise the break up would not have happened. Think hard, look deep, and locate the cause of the problem. The problem is never “leaving towels on the floor”, as a hint, look deeper than that. It's never about the towels. You need to uncover the root cause of it all. And then fix it. Finding the problem is only half the solution, it must be fixed as well which often means changing something about yourself. You cannot change anything about your ex but you can change yourself. You must fix this problem before you even think about contacting your ex again.
Step 3: Stop making the same mistakes! This relates to Step 2. Repetition will create habit and change your behavior, even if this repetition is not doing something you used to do. If you want her back your ex girlfriend needs to see these changes have been made and that they are sticking. You can tell her you've changed all you want, but she wants to see it. Show don't tell. Your actions will prove your case more than your words ever will so if you have a choice of either saying “I don't leave towels on the floor anymore” or doing it, just stop doing the thing that rubbed her the wrong way instead.
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| A 7 Step Plan To Get Her Back |
Step 4: You still have a life to live. Don't neglect your friends, your job, and other aspects of your life because of the break up. There is still a world out there that needs you. You will also discover that you can live happy without your ex. Some people may be scared of this concept, but it is empowering. This realization means you choose to be with your ex knowing that you have the choice not to be and can still be as happy as you were before. These activities will make your mind think of other things to help you ease through any remaining pain of the break up as well. You may have to force yourself to go out and be social again, but it's good for you and better for you that you do.
Step 5: Reconnect. You may have to be the one who makes the first call if she doesn't contact you first after one month apart. Keep this conversation light, fun, and preferably brief. Certain topics should not be brought up such as the relationship (now is not the time), any other girls you may have been with, or things you know will incite an argument. Just check in on her and see how she's doing. You don't want to talk too long. A phone call of 15 minutes is plenty of time to get all of this out and then end the call.
Step 6: Now that contact has been established again you need to explain to her that you accept the break up and are at peace with it. You know it was for the best and that you'd like it if you and her could be friends again. At this point you are aiming to set up a small meeting, as friends. You're going to go on several of these mini-dates and this is because things need to be handled slowly and delicately here. You don't want to rush anything that you are not ready for or she isn't. You want to work toward an emotionally charged experience with her because of the bond it can create. You know each other very well so remember what gets her excited, what her passions are, and what gets her adrenaline going. You can recreate strong bonds again if you play into these things about her, things that you probably already know about her anyway.
If you follow these 6 steps you'll be positioned perfectly to get her back. Do not skip over any steps because they are all important to the process. If you are able to pay attention to yourself and the changes you need to make, and then to her and what she is telling you, then you won't need much more help after this to get her back.
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DUUDE ITS WORKING MAN. After a few weeks of being cool and ok with it, i said we should be friends, and now shes saying im going to give you another chance to get to know me, and if im paying attention to her like i said i would, then ill find the right time to ask her out… thank you!
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