Dealing with a break up is not easy and is something no one really sets out to go through. If you feel that your ex boyfriend was the love of your life then suddenly no longer having him in your life can be very difficult to live with. It is normal to want them back in your lives. If you still have feeling for your ex boyfriend then wanting to get him back is something you've been putting a lot of thought into.
The first step you need to do is put the past in the past. Whatever event caused the break up cannot be changed. What you can do is change who you are now, in this moment, to assure that when your ex boyfriend is back in your arms that what caused it the first time doesn't happen again. Whatever it was that caused the break you need to fix that. He will not want to get back together with you if the same problems are still there. If he does all that is going to happen is that you'll break up again, for the same reason, and you'll be right where you are now just a bit further into the future.
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| How to get your ex boyfriend back in 5 proven steps. |
After that you need to give your ex some space. Stop calling him and texting him. Limit this contact as much as you can. You're only going to bring up bad feelings for the first few weeks if you keep trying to make this contact happen. You both need some time and space to think. As much as it hurts to hear it that is exactly what this time is for. It can take time to find the underlying cause of the break up and also a lot of time for your own emotions to cool down a bit. Your ex will need this space for the same reason. He is probably feeling as hurt and emotional as you are right now and may be doing his best to say things he knows will hurt you if the time is not ready for communication. You are doing each other a favor by being apart in this time.
While this is going on work on yourself. Self improvement goes a long way in getting your ex boyfriend back. He doesn't want you to tell him that you've changed he wants to see it. You probably have lost some sight of yourself in the relationship, which is common, all you need to do is get in touch with who you are again. There are probably some interests and passions you have that may have taken a back seat while you were with him. Whether it was bike riding, hiking, reading, or music you need to take some time and do these things again. Pick up an all new hobby if you want. In addition to finding out more about yourself and why he loved this you so much in the first place you'll also give yourself exciting things to talk about and things you've done since break up. If he broke up with you because he got bored and conversation got stale then you'll now have more than enough to talk about and you'll be interesting and exciting to him again.
After about a month apart, where you've had time to explore yourself and think about the relationship the time for contacting your ex will finally come. He may contact you first depending on the situation so don't feel the need to grab the phone just yet. These first few calls, especially the first one, need to be brief, polite, and short. All talk of the relationship is considered off the table. What this call is actually a check in call. You both are probably curious how the other is doing. Your ex will be feeling you out to see how safe it is to continue the contacts. Use small talk and try not to talk longer than 15 minutes. On the first call especially it needs to be short. Eventually you will move onto a bigger step.
Whether your or your ex boyfriend suggest it there is going to be a meeting where you see him face-to-face, in person, with no ability to hide behind a hang up or a stop to texting. This can be very intimidating, but realize it is intimidating for both of you. As with all first meetings keep the relationship talk to zero or extremely limited. You may need to go so far as to plan what you intend to say and know ahead of time how you are going to answer any questions. If the first meeting goes well there will probably be more. Eventually the awkwardness will go away and the familiar feeling of comfort will return. You don't want to rush this process. As relationship issues come up, and they will after awhile, you can finally use this time to talk calmly to your ex about it and what can be done to fix it, and how you have changed to already make sure it won't happen again. Be ready to compromise. Relationships are about two people and one getting the better half of a deal. Both of you need to decide on certain things and find an understanding. You may find yourselves back together through the natural process of these meetings, but if you don't or haven't maybe you just need to ask. They've now come a long way with you and are comfortable enough to talk to you this way, don't be afraid to take the next step.
Outlined here are five logical and progressing steps you can take to get your ex boyfriend back. As every relationship is different the devil is in the details. Only you know your ex, and you know him better than anyone of us do. Look for the signs and sense when it is time to move to the next step along the way. You'll have your ex boyfriend back in your arms before you know it.
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