We Are Getting Back Together: Contacting Your Ex

The biggest problem most people dealing with break ups face is trying to figure out why their ex won’t speak to them about what went wrong. Most people's first instinct is to call or send a text message to ask what happened or to try and plead with their ex to reconsider.

Each time you do contact your ex, you're subtly telling him that you're not capable of existing without him. While this might sound romantic and noble in a Hollywood film, in reality you're sending your ex a sure sign of your insecurity and high dependence.

Think back once again to when you first met. You would have been happy and fun to be around. You would have been quite happy to do things for yourself in your own life, deal with your own things and generally be independent.

Contacting Your Ex

Now consider all those desperate pleas to get back together, crying and swearing your undying love for your ex.

Your ex will be seeing someone completely different sitting there than the person he fell in love with, so the more you call or text or email, the less likely it is that he'll want to talk.

Stop contacting him at once.

Spend some time reconnecting to the person you used to be. Build up your own self-esteem once again and start going out with friends to take your mind off things. Such simple advice is almost never taken seriously by someone who is so desperately wanting to keep in contact with their ex, afraid that if they don’t speak to him, he might meet someone else.

Unfortunately, it's good advice. Give your ex some time to miss you. Give him a little space to make him understand what he's lost and what life is like when you're not around. You don't have to wait weeks and weeks. Just give him a little time to see what it's like being apart.

When you're feeling a little happier about who you are and what you really want, only then give him a call and suggest you meet for a friendly chat. Meet somewhere public and make sure it's relaxed. Have plenty of casual, light-hearted topics planned for conversation and avoid talking about the relationship. You want your ex to see that you're capable of taking responsibility for your own happiness and not completely dependent on him to provide it for you.

When he does see the original happy, bubbly person he fell in love with sitting there opposite him instead of the crying, upset, miserable person he didn't know how to help, he’ll begin to realize that he did miss you after all.
Ps. Consider this helpful guide to take the next step in getting your ex back in your life.
>The Magic Second Chance Letter<

Don't Judge a Woman by Her Looks!

I know this tip may sound very cliche, but it's true. At some point or another we're all guilty of judging something, or someone, based on appearance alone. While it's not right, we still seem to have that tendency to be superficial. This type of behavior can be very detrimental when it comes to seducing a woman. Women like to be appreciated for who they are, not what they look like. Even those women who have great physical beauty don't necessarily want to be judged on that characteristic alone.

Women keep the thought in the back of their mind that one day they may want to have a child. If and when they become pregnant, look at all the changes their body goes through. The mere fact that their body has to expand at a very rapid pace to accommodate the growth of the baby is frightening. And the knowledge that their figure may never be the same is equally frightening.

Another thought that women have is that eventually we all get older and less youthful in appearance. We know that in general, a man is considered more distinguished looking when his hair takes on the salt and pepper look, whereas women merely look old. A few wrinkles on a man are no big deal, but for women the first sign of a wrinkle is cause to consider bo-tox treatment, or more. Society has made women terribly self conscious. Bear in mind when considering what you truly believe is important in a woman. If looks is top on your list it will surely lead to a very dissatisfying experience for you, and your woman.

Let me give you a live example of having looks at the top of your list of qualities, a woman must have. My son's first wife was a beautiful young woman on the outside, but lacked certain traits on the inside that my son was looking for. Within a few short months the lack of these traits began to have an impact on their marriage. And the longer the marriage went on the harder the marriage came for both of them. Unfortunately within less than two years they divorced. Thank goodness there were no children involved.

Two years later my son married a woman who had a more normal physical appearance. However, she had an overabundance of "beautiful traits" on the inside. It quickly became apparent in their marriage that they were very compatible and were happy together.

I'm not trying to say that you have to resolve to be happy with someone you find utterly unattractive. Women all have preferences in looks, personality and many other traits that we have to abide by. It's a matter of compatibility. But what women do have to take into consideration is that attraction is not just a matter of physical appearance. So take the time to find out what's inside before you discount women based on what's outside.
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