Relationship blog

Relationship blog
Visar inlägg med etikett Steps for surviving a break up. Visa alla inlägg
Visar inlägg med etikett Steps for surviving a break up. Visa alla inlägg

måndag 18 mars 2013

Why Fantasies Are Actually Healthy For a Relationship

This is a great and useful article for you that i wrote for EzineArticles about what i think
is one very important issue that affect our life in many ways.
Ps. My own favourite resource which can help you within this subject is available by clicking on this link.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

As about why fantasies are actually healthy for a relationship I will begin telling you my own story. It all started out as almost every relationship almost on a bed of roses but gradually I found out that those roses had thorns to. Easy to say I really was no good copying on that side of a relationship meaning that every problem that rose up in our deep blue sky I neither faced it or talked about it. Neglecting it as long as possible became my way to "solve problems" which initially seemed to work but instead of going away things just became worse. Coming back to the title about fantasies I think it´s a key point to consider because we often start out with very positive fantasies of how our new love will be and also how our relationship will be, often more positive than realistic. Such fantasies are far from good in the long run but they are actually essential for a relationship in the beginning because otherwise we may not have had the courage to even consider to flirt with her at all. But if we use our fantasies to also see a positive solution possible when we discover the thorns it will help us. It´s easy to be negative and reject our own part of a dispute which make us self-imposed victims and therefore without quilt. Or as I did pretend everything´s alright which in the end will lead to a fight.
So what is there to do? I have a few good starting points here:
#1 is we both carry at least half of the problem.
#2 is listen more than you speak.
#3 is that the actual subject we disagree on is not every time the real issue.
#4 is to confirm your spouse; look her in the eyes and say you love her.
#5 is to be yourself from the beginning, show your genuine self.
Sometimes though and for different reasons things are going completely out of control and a solution seems out of reach. My experience is that it´s almost impossible to get through to each other when carry hurt feelings. It just has to lay low for a time until the smoke has cleared the air after the "explosion". At that time it is very wise to get some professional help for example therapy about relationship in some form; there´s some good resources both online and "offline" so to say. In closing I would like to say stick to what you have and take your part of the responsibility both for the good and the bad!

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Would you like to know more? Check out this site for more information about the above topic!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=D.Scott

What A Good Quiz For A Relationship Can Reveal

Can a quiz for a relationship really tell you anything you don’t already know? The answer is often yes, but you have to make sure you’re taking a well designed quiz created by someone with some real credentials. Find one of those and there are some very interesting things you can learn about what’s in store for your relationship.

Overall compatibility.

Don’t feel like relying on your horoscope to guide you to your soul mate? A good quiz for a relationship may not be able to tell you where your soul mate is, but it can give you an idea whether or not the person you’re with now might be it. Quiz results can give you insight into important factors like compatibility of beliefs, habits, and long-term goals.

Healthy or not?

If you’ve ever been stuck in an unhealthy relationship that involved physical or psychological abuse, no doubt you never want to be in one again. The worst thing about these situations is that it’s often hard to see where things are headed until its too late.

That’s where a quiz for a relationship comes in. By asking the right questions, a relationship quiz can help you pick up on early warning signs that you and your partner may not only be incompatible, but may actually be in an unhealthy situation. 

Eternal love or dead end?

No matter how crazy you are about each other right now, you can never be 100% sure it will last. You can, however, get some idea whether when you have a good chance or you’re doomed to break up, though. Questions about how you envision the future with your partner and what kinds of plans you’ve made together can give you a fair amount of insight into this.


 
What problems are in store?

Yep, every relationship has some problems. Having an idea about what yours might be gives you a chance to head them off before they get too serious. A well designed quiz for a relationship uses questions that help you zero in on potential problems that could grow into something big.

The quiz does this by asking things like how you deal with your partner’s annoying habits, what causes of any moments of tension between you, and what emotions seem to characterize your relationship.

How others see you!

Even if there aren’t any problems between you, your relationship could still face pressure from outside forces. It might be due to difference in age, race, social status, or any number of things you overlook when you’re deeply in love. Unfortunately, your family and close friends may not overlook these things and constant criticism from them puts a strain on the relationship. You need to be aware of what social problems you might run into so you can discuss how you’re going to handle them.

A quiz for a relationship can tell you a lot about what you and your partner you have to look forward to in the near future. Just remember, though, no two relationships are the same, so no matter how accurate the test, be ready for a few surprises all the same.

Ps. Do you need some really good advice absolutely free read this.

Take A Should I Break Up With My Boyfriend Quiz

A “should I break up with my boyfriend” quiz is something a person doesn’t take unless she has doubts about the relationship. If you’re considering taking such a quiz, you might not need the quiz to tell you the answer. If you’re unhappy, or you don’t think he treats you right, you shouldn’t worry about taking a “should I break up with my boyfriend” quiz. You already know.

But if you want to take such a quiz, they can open your eyes to some things in your relationship. A “should I break up with my boyfriend” quiz usually has multiple choice questions that offer up several different scenarios for each question.

If you take the quiz, just on a whim, and realize that most of the answers you choose show the relationship or the boyfriend isn’t ideal, that can get you thinking about your boyfriend and about how things should change. So if you’re happy with the way things are, you might want to skip the quiz.

On the other hand, you might want to compare your relationship with what the quiz considers to be a good and bad relationship. Of course, you have to keep in mind that many of these quizzes are put together more as a joke than anything else.

If it’s a “should I break up with my boyfriend” quiz you find online, especially at a site where you can take quiz after quiz on almost any subject, then beware. Anyone can make those quizzes. You could make one advising people when to break up, too. They’re just based on what one person thinks.

If it’s a quiz from a magazine and was created by someone with actual human relations or relationship expertise, then you can take the results a little more seriously. But even if the quiz appears to be completely sincere, you shouldn’t break up with your boyfriend only based on the quiz results.

If you’re taking the quiz for fun, definitely discount any answers you get. If you’re taking it because you have doubts and you wonder if you should break up with your boyfriend, then pay a little closer attention. Read your results carefully to decide if it’s really accurate for your situation.

These quizzes aren’t designed to actually tell you what to do when it comes to your boyfriend. They’re designed more to give you a guidelines about how things should be in your relationship under certain circumstances.

If your answers vary far from what the quiz author believes to be what is healthy and normal in a good relationship, you might want to examine things a little closer and see what you can do to help the situation.

Everything wrong in the relationship won’t be entirely your boyfriend’s fault, after all. A good relationship really does take two. And if you wanted to take the quiz to start with, if you think about it you’ll probably realize that it didn’t take a “should I break up with my boyfriend” quiz to tell you what you needed to know.



Ps. You should really read this to!

Reasons For A Boyfriend Break Up

Have you had a boyfriend break up?  Maybe you were the one calling it quits.  Or, perhaps he dumped you.  Maybe it was a so called “mutual decision.”  In any case, sometimes a boyfriend break up is devastating.

There are many reasons for a boyfriend break upI’m going to look at three in this article.

The first reason is that he cheated on you.  You need to be very clear in your mind what cheating means.  Does that mean that he actually went out on a date with another girl?  Does it mean that he was making out with her at a party?  Does it mean that he danced with another girl?  Does it mean that he simply looked at one?  Defining what you mean by cheating can be very important.

If you have never had a talk about what “exclusiveness” in your relationship means, he may have had no idea that you would consider what he did cheating.  He may even be stunned that you would consider a boyfriend break up over that!


 
If you want to take him back, then you need to have a talk about expectations.  If he can agree to the expressed rules, you can get back together.  If they’re not something he can live with, then you are better off without him in the long run.

Another reason for a boyfriend break up is that you move in different places.  Sometimes this happens in a physical sense.  For instance, your family moves to another state or you and he go to colleges in different locations.  Most relationships cannot survive a great distance in geography and the break up may be mutual, but still painful.

Other times this happens because you start to move in different social spheres in the same place.  You may join the cheerleading squad and he’s not comfortable with your new friends, for instance.  Or, he gets serious about a religious preference that you have no interest in.  When this happens, it is just time to move on.

Finally, a boyfriend break up can occur when you need a different kind of lifestyle.  You may just be tired of having to cater to a boy’s needs ahead of your own, for instance.  Or, you may be bored with him.  He may have seemed glamorous and exciting at first, but now he’s just a pain.  You may have thought you needed a boyfriend because all of your other friends were pairing up, but now you realize that you need your own space and are not ready for a relationship.

In this case, the guy may agree with you or he may try to win you back.  But, make sure you put your own needs first.

Keep in mind that there are plenty of other guys out there who are eager to have a girl like you, so there’s no need to have a relationship that isn’t working for you.  Although it may hurt at first, you will survive a boyfriend break up.

Ps. More useful tips here!

Proven Ways Of Mending A Broken Heart

The best part about being a human, is the ability to actually deeply care about and love someone.  To be in love is probably one of the greatest emotions we can experience.  When you're in a relationship and everything is going well, it's sometimes easy to take the relationship for granted. 

Unfortunately, relationships, even the ones you thought were going smoothly, can come to an abrupt end.  While truly caring about someone and loving them is great and a source of pleasure, when the relationship is over it can be a huge source of pain, sorrow, and a broken heart.  If the break up is recent, you may not believe it, but there are things you can do to begin mending a broken heart.

Unfortunately, there is no magic pill, potion, lotion, or method for instantly mending a broken heart.   It is imperative that you understand this.  After a break up, there will be times when your emotions are going to be up, down, sideways, diagonal, and every other way, but right.



In fact, you'll probably experience combination's of emotions you never thought possible.  One example is anger and sadness mixed together.  You'll find that sometimes your emotions can change at the drop of a hat.  You'll be feeling fine, laughing one minute, the next you'll be really sad, even crying.   The most important thing you have to realize is that it all seems bleak and dark now.  However, as time presses on, things will get better. 

It is critical that you try to reign in your emotions.  Does this mean you should bottle up your emotions?  No, absolutely not.  However, it does mean that you shouldn't let your sadness, anger, depression, or any other emotion control you for long periods of time. If you're feeling sad, allow yourself to have a “pity party” for a maximum of 15 minutes.  Then, say to yourself “Okay, that's enough.  It's time to stop.

Mending a broken heart is also going to require you to try and stay busy.  If you give your mind a lot of idle time to think, it will probably want to think about your break up.  This isn't good.  Try to keep your mind and body active.  You probably won't feel like doing this very much, but its important.   Go somewhere, do something, try to drag friends along.  Tell them to not let you talk about the break up.  Try not to sit around the house and do nothing.  That's the worst thing you can do.

Falling in love is usually the easy part.  Mending a broken heart is not.  That's just one of the cruel realities of life.  Everything has an equal and an opposite.  The wonderful, uplifting, feelings you get from being in love, are the exact opposite to the miserable, depression and sadness, that go along with a break up.  Time, an active lifestyle, happy thoughts, and good friends will get you through this tough time.

Ps. Dont forget this!!

Relationship Breakups - How To Stay Friends

Relationship breakups don’t always mean that the person you’re breaking up with needs to be cut completely out of your life. Many people continue to have warm and satisfying friendships with their exes by making sure that their relationship breakups are done without hurting anyone more than necessary.

There are situations where you know that you don’t really want that person to continue to be in your life. Maybe things that happened during the relationship are just too painful. You feel like you can’t forgive him or her for what they did.

You might be surprised later on once the initial hurt has passed at how differently you feel. While the chances that you would want to get back together with that person are slim, you might discover you really miss having him or her in your life.

This is never more true than when your ex was your friend first. When you had a great friendship and that lead to a romantic relationship, relationship breakups don’t just end the romance, but now you’ve lost that great friendship, too.

It doesn’t have to be that way, though, if the other person wants to keep you in his or her life, too. The only way to find this out is to have a conversation about it. You might be in for a pleasant surprise to discover that your ex still wants to be friends, too.



If you talk to your boyfriend, though, and he has an attitude or is angry and doesn’t want to continue a friendship, then accept it but don’t burn any bridges. Don’t go out with an attitude or become insulting.

There’s always the chance that he can’t see past the hurt and anger he’s feeling, and could change his mind later. But if you throw a few parting shots to make the pain and hurt even worse, you might be sabotaging your chances of having this person as a friend later.

Relationship breakups are never easy, and it’s not necessarily easy to stay friends afterwards. This is true even if you were best friends before you began the romantic relationship. When you’re in a romance with someone, that person knows intimate details about you and your life.

And after a breakup, some people might see those tidbits of information as weapons. It’s very easy to insult someone in a way that you know will really hurt them when you’re hurting, too. The desire to lash out or to protect yourself by striking the first verbal blow is a natural emotional response.

No one knows the little details that can wound you quite as deeply as someone you’ve been in a relationship with. If your ex uses these little things to hurt you, try to keep it in perspective. Yes, it’s painful, but he’s coming from a place of anger, too.

Don’t fight back like that. Take the high road, and be respectful. Even if your relationship breakups don’t end in you remaining friends, you’ll feel better for not making the situation even worse.

Ps.<<< Look here for more useful information>>>

Use Boyfriend Girlfriend Quizzes For Fun Not Advice

Boyfriend girlfriend quizzes can be fun to take. You can find them in many different magazines aimed at women, and all over the Internet. There will be a set of questions that can vary from asking about your favorite thing to do together, to how much you know about your boyfriend’s past girlfriends. But boyfriend girlfriend quizzes are really just mean to be fun, not some sort of couple therapy. So have fun with them!

Some are designed for you to take in which you’ll answer questions about your boyfriend only. Based on your answers about things like how often he says he loves you, or how often he takes you out, you’ll get an answer. Many of these quizzes are a bit tongue in cheek, and are designed just for fun. So if you get a bad answer, look closely at the quiz.

If the possible answers you could have selected are all a bit wild and exaggerated, then it’s more a joke quiz than something you could really just your relationship by. Very often, multiple choice quizzes are designed this way, with humorous or outrageous choices for you to choose between. These are clearly just for fun.




Some quizzes have you answering questions about what you think your boyfriend is thinking. While these can be fun too, realize that you can’t read minds. No matter what you think he might say or do, you can’t be sure. So don’t take these results too seriously.

Boyfriend girlfriend quizzes that want yes or no answers are more likely to attempt to give real advice. Judging by how many yes and no answers you give, the quiz will give you a quick assessment of your relationship.

These can be a little more accurate if the questions are reasonable ones. Just a quick read of the questions and the possible results should let you know if it’s meant to be humorous or they’re really trying to give relationship advice. Watch the tone of what they say if it’s difficult to tell.

Then there are those quizzes that are designed for you take together. Or that intend for you to ask your boyfriend questions. If your boyfriend thinks it sounds like a fun idea, then by all means enjoy it. But if he’s resistant to the idea of boyfriend girlfriend quizzes, don’t force the issue.

Even though you’re aware of the type of quiz it is and decide to do it just for fun, he might take it too seriously. There’s always the chance that with even the most tongue in cheek quiz, you’ll get a “bad” answer. And no matter how silly the questions or the possible answers, he might not understand that it’s just a joke and could take it as a criticism.

On the other hand, don’t take a quiz and then make too much of the answer yourself. No matter how serious they’re intended to be, boyfriend girlfriend quizzes can’t really accurately tell you anything you don’t already know!
Ps. How to get my girlfriend back.