Relationship blog

Relationship blog
Visar inlägg med etikett ex. Visa alla inlägg
Visar inlägg med etikett ex. Visa alla inlägg

måndag 17 oktober 2016

Getting back a dating ex.

Retrieving an ex when they have started dating almost always proves tricky at best. It is never impossible, but it can be very difficult. Rather than entering into a protracted battle to secure an ex once more, one should take a look at the relationship, determine what would be the best possible outcome and then take steps to make a healthy offer to move forward.

Assessing the Past and Present

The End: One needs to avoid being clouded by an unrealistic view of a former relationship. This means accurately seeing how things ended and asking challenging questions such as:


* Was there infidelity?
* How healthy was the relationship to begin with?
* If changes could be made, what would they be?
* What is going on now causing consideration of a return to the ex?

The Present: One cannot view things from a solitary standpoint. Loneliness, solitude and a lack of personal prospects coupled with the happiness of an ex bolsters a sense of hopefulness about getting back into a relationship. By turning a blind eye to an ex's current happiness, it can lead to greater damage especially if things ended well. Breaking things further may seem like a small price to pay. Unfortunately, ripples reach far beyond the shores of the present moment. This can stop a reunion before it even begins.

White rose with ice
Getting back a dating ex.

Looking to the Possible Results

People, especially those dealing with being alone while an ex has moved forward, tend to look at the rosiest of options. Rather than letting such thoughts live within the fertile ground of the imagination, one should execute an important exercise. Take a blank sheet of paper and divide it into three equal sections. At the top of the page, write "Good," "Bad" and "Ugly" into individual sections. Then, write out the scenario for each being as detailed as possible. Though seemingly childish or a flight of fantasy, this process will give clearer options moving forward. It may also give rise to more sobering aspects of the results of shattering a romance for potentially selfish gain.

Moving Forward

Fortunately, no relationship springs from whole cloth. The first steps will be slow. Even if things blossom into a rekindled romance, it likely will not happen for several months as trust is reestablished. For that reason, use these as markers along the way.

* Go Slow: Rushing to the point at which the old relationship ended, even if things were good, will likely end in another break up.
* Build Trust: Ignoring hurt feeling on both sides minimizes what was there including the positive parts.
* Accentuate Positives: Saying unflattering things about the current relationship or decisions made presents a needy face.
* Be Gracious: Trying to be warm and grateful for the person's role, in the past, present and future will mean more no matter what happens.

Only by realistically accepting the difficulties presented through this course of action can a person navigate the return into an ex's life. Their current relationship is only single hurdle being faced. If it is ignored or knocked down, you will never achieve anything more than greater pain. Be smart and look into their life with an open heart.

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lördag 18 juli 2015

Facing an Ex Encounter

Facing an Ex Encounter Bumping into an ex stirs a variety of emotions, so knowing the right way to proceed may appear to be like unlocking the programming of a super computer. The good news is most of the ways to respond means a person escapes unscathed. In several situations, the experience provides beneficial insight into the individual, the past relationship and growth moving forward. General Facts Knowing a few things about the encounter will permit a deeper understanding before acting. Often the urge to respond races ahead of reasoning, so recalling the basics can be a great practice in settling into a calmer state of mind.

Dating

 * They were caught off guard too: Though easy to take a myopic view, understanding everything being felt by one party is, most likely, being felt by the other as well. * Accept the situation: Acknowledging the fact the event happened can minimize the pressure. * Keep it simple: A short conversation benefits everyone because there is not time for awkwardness in what is said or the silence. Pitfalls and Problems Running into an ex, by its very nature, is a social landmine ready to explode taking self esteem, existing friendships and current romantic relationships with it. The key to avoiding the pitfalls is to know they are there and step around them. For this to happen, a person needs a high level of emotional maturity and strength. * The temptation to avoid them will occur early, but moving into the encounter directly will prevent the appearance of an emotional attachment.


* Speaking from a place of honesty about what is happening in one's life demonstrates the healthy place one lives while resisting the urge to downplay or oversell anything. * Unless coming from the gym, paying attention to appearance shows the lack of a shattered life. This proves more important when attending an event with a high likelihood of running into one's ex. * Manage the conversation by not promising future plans and end the exchange at a natural stopping point without lingering. * Try to act as naturally as possible and not be overly odd, even if the ex found it charming, because this never begins as a "win them back" scenario.

* Regardless of the assessment or outcome, release the encounter as soon as possible or it might become an anchor dredging up the past. Benefits of Bumping into an Ex If asked, most people would struggle to find anything positive from an unexpected meeting with an ex. It is easy to see things from a negative viewpoint. However, numerous things doe surface following such an encounter. They may receive confirmation the decision proved to be the correct one, rekindle fond memories of a time of their life with other events they suppressed or be encouraged to visit a location they have avoided since the end of the relationship. These can all be seen as road markers on the destination to emotional maturity meaning a better chance for future relationships. Though not the first thing people think of when leaving a relationship, everyone should be ready when an ex walks back into their life. There are many fish in the sea, but they are all swimming in the same sea. Accepting and taking control of their half of the exchange means no one must be crippled by the "former" part of a former relationship.